Dear Karma, it's me, Alexis

I don't know what the hell I've done to end up on the bad side of karma but I appear to be stuck here.  I can't seem to get ahead of this mess I am constantly finding.  I'm really trying to take the high road and search for the personal growth in each situation but I am running out of optimism.  It feels like getting hit by a bus and right after I stand up with a bent over back and wobbly knees, the rug I am standing on gets pulled out from under me and I am back on the ground.

Don't worry, these things will pass.  They always do.  But I am going to stay in the house with the doors locked until it does because January has really sucked.  From the start to the end and everywhere in between.  I think 2016 will have to start over 2/1 for me.

I am laughing because I started 2016 with a "joy/happiness" jar.  Lately the best thing I can put in there is that "I am happy my carton of milk didn't turn sour over night" (but sometimes it has)!

People always tell me "Oh you are so strong."  But even the most strong people find weakness from time to time.  I hope this string of events is about to end and I can get back on the good side of the world.  I think my turn is up.  And might I say, Thank you Karma for the reality check.  Should I ever feel full of myself or brag my life is good, I will remember this lovely month in 2016 to keep me humble.

Mars will always be a part of me

On Tuesday, January 26, 2016, the earth lost a bright star, Marshelle Spafard, age 60, who passed away peacefully surrounded by her loving family.  She fought a strong and courageous battle with cancer which ultimately stole her away from us far too soon.  

Mars had an amazing artistic gift that she discovered when she was in kindergarten and left us with many examples of her creativity and artistic pursuits.  You don't need to look far to see something fun and creative she made or painted.

For the last many years, she worked as a Prop Master at the University of Utah, Pioneer Memorial Theater. She also enjoyed sharing her artistic gift by teaching classes to her friends and family.

She was born to John and Munda Flach in Salt Lake City and grew up part of a large first generation Dutch family.  She graduated from the University of Utah in 1979 with a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree.  She married the love of her life, John Spafard in 1981.  John and Mars shared a lifetime of outdoor adventures together.  They enjoyed the freedom in their camper van during the summer months often taking off with a sense of adventure and no firm plan of where they might end up.  They always encountered nature’s beauty and interesting characters along the way. She often gathered odds and ends and treasures that she would bring home to use in her artistic creations.  She also enjoyed bike riding, skiing and hiking with her Johnny.  A sense of adventure always lead their way.

Mars always had a zest for each and every day.  She would not want us to mourn her passing.  She would tell us to get up, get out, and enjoy this beautiful world.  Love nature, smile often, and cherish each day.

At Mars’ request, there will be no funeral services.  A celebration of life will be held at a later date.

It's just snow....deer!

We had a large snow storm come through Salt Lake on Saturday evening and through most of Sunday.  I'm honestly really sick of the snow.  This year is much better though because I have Ben. Ben comes and scrapes the snow for me and makes sure the walks aren't slick.  And I really appreciate Ben.

The other really cool thing is you can see tracks in the snow.  It continued to lightly snow through the night. This morning, I noticed tracks all through my snow.  I figured it was a dog or cat but on closer inspection, I realized it was hoof prints!!!  They are all through my front yard and down the driveway. They continue into the back yard.  Looking further, I noticed a cleared spot where "it/them" laid down by my Goldenrod Tree in back.

Tracks in the driveway

Tracks through the backyard. See the clear spot by the tree?  Body marks.

 Come to think about it, the cats were up and wandering in the early morning.  I'm going to have to learn to get up when they do.  I would love to see the deer in my yard.  I think it is pretty cool.

The nose knows

When Fritz and I were together over New Years, we were going in for a kiss and were obviously not paying attention.  I took a little elbow to the nose.  It was a complete accident.  But boy oh boy did it hurt.  In fact, it even hurt my front teeth!  Immediately, I knew something was wrong.  My nose was plugged and suddenly the nostril was funny shaped.  I had hoped it was just swollen.

Fast forward 2 weeks and I got in to see my favorite ENT/Plastic Surgeon Dr. S.  I've not seen him for over a year which is fantastic because that means I've been staying relatively healthy.  He took one look and told me my nose was broken.  The cartlidge is broken and the septum is off to the side.  My heart sunk.

You might know I had a broken nose long ago and had the septum fixed many years ago.  It is a painful and unpleasant surgery.  The recovery is hard.  So I am upset I need to go through it again. But Dr. S said if we do it quickly, the surgery won't be so bad because they won't have to re-break my nose to fix it.  So I am having surgery on February 5.  That is the soonest Friday I am available.  I will be in a nose splint for 6 days.  I will also have to have general anesthesia which is tricky for me. But I did okay with the anesthesia for surgery last year so I will be hopeful we can cruise through it again.  He said the surgery is too involved for conscious sedation.  Yikes!

I was kind of surprised to see the photos.  They tell the story.

Crooked

Notice the collapsed nostril

This too will pass.  And I will be glad to be able to breathe again.  Luckily Mom is available to help me that weekend.  I am so glad she can help me and is always at the ready.  Thank you Mom.

Mars and John

I usually don't share other people's news here but I just can't skip this one.  I mentioned several months ago that my Aunt Mars was fighting a nasty cancer (Sarcoma).  She has been such a trooper and so brave.  She gave it a huge battle and I really thought she would win.  But we just learned the cancer has continued to spread.  She is exhausted and not feeling well.  So they are to the point they are no longer hoping for a cure, they are hoping for comfort and peace.  Anytime we face cancer, we know there is a huge battle to fight and often the odds are just not in our favor.  But it is not easy and not something I am very good at.

I am so thankful they have allowed me into their world and counted on me to help them navigate the cancer world.  We have become very close.  We've shared many laughs and good times.  We've also learned to hug and express our appreciation for each other.  And I am so honored to be included in their journey.  And I am still here to help.

These are incredible people that I have become even closer too then before.  Mars is such an incredible person.  And John is one of the most loving and caring people I know.  They really share something special.

Yes it is a very difficult time but I am digging deep to hold my chin up and continue what we started.  I am here sending you love, peace, health, and healing.  Know I am here and I continue to hold you close to my heart as you continue this courageous journey.  Love you both to pieces.

Coming Home - The Philip edition

As you know, Philip came home from college for a full 4 weeks.  I admit I was thrilled to have him home but it was a huge adjustment to be a "mom"a gain.  That is okay because we have 4 weeks!!  When he comes home, he always has a list of places he wants to go out to eat.  Not a problem for me.  That is something we've always enjoyed doing together.  As I go through my photos, I kind of giggle because it is just a series of restaurant photos.

We started with the Spaghetti Factory on
our way home from the airport.

The Roof while Nola was visiting

 

Visit to the temple lights while there.

We blurred through the holidays and all that fanfare that goes with it.  Then we continued our culinary pursuits through the rest of his visit.

We went to Benihana to celebrate his birthday early

 

Birthday ice cream

We went to Happy Sumo for sushi - Yummy!  

And we went to Ruth's Cafe for breakfast including hot cocoa

Outside Ruths with full bellies.

Although we did lots of good dining, the 4 weeks flew by.  Of course, I shared him with his Dad and Tiffany.  I also had stuff going on too including work...oh and he worked too.  What is very real for me is this is our "mature" relationship.  The distance is there but we are also close.  I'm very glad we built in traditions we like to share.  We can always fall back on those traditions.

And he is gone!

Before I knew it, it was time to go.  I admit, I was pretty sad and was a little booby about it.  I am so incredibly proud of him going out of state to college.  That is a huge step for many reasons.  He doesn't have many breaks this semester so the next time I see him will be early March for his Spring break.

Miss you Mister P.

Dress Up Martini Party

Last night, my friends had a martini party.  This wasn't just any party, it was a fancy,dress up, super fun party to celebrate my good friend Kim's 40th birthday.

Luckily, I bought a super cute fancy cocktail dress last Fall for a trip I was planning this Spring.  So I was all ready to go.  I had planned to wear it in warmer climates but with tights and a sweater, it worked.  I curled my hair and put on my makeup and a smile and had a fabulous time.  I really do love these people.  They are my chosen family.

We all brought our favorite martini fixins.  Can you believe this bar?

Kim is making a wish

Who is the crazy one?  Lesley?

Or me?

Stacy and Rhonda in the wellness room Stacy has.

Christine, Stacy, Kim, Gayle, and Me

Stacy, Rhonda, Me, Lesley

The birthday girl, Kim and hostess (sister) Stacy.

Happy Birthday Kim!  Thanks for a fun evening!!

The Grinch paid us a visit

I am finally getting around to taking down my Christmas decorations.  I am highly motivated to get it done before Philip leaves to go back to school so he can carry the boxes up and down the steps.  I was puttering around and getting it all gathered.  I went outside to get my super cute wreath I bought 2 years ago.  And it was bare.  Gone.  Much to my surprise.  So I looked around and looked bewildered.  The wreath was huge and it was heavy.  It would have taken a significant wind to blow it away.  But I would have seen it because we've not had more than a skiff of snow latey.  I really think someone came and helped themselves to it.

It was a nice wreath. It wasn't cheap.  Really a splurge for me.  It was different than the standard wreath.  It was white,  red, and turquoise which was perfect for my cute turquoise blue door.  But alas, someone felt they needed it more than me.  I am very sad about it but I will get over it.  I'm going to just focus on the fact that I am selling the house and it might not have fit the decor of the new house.

Not very nice and not very kind Mr. Grinch. You're an Asshole.

A little cyst removal

Somewhere along the way, I grew some funny cyst on my lower left eyelid.  I finally got the guts to have it removed.  It really was a simple process although I wouldn't sign up to do that sort of thing on a daily basis.  The doctor felt it was just an overgrowth of cells but we sent it for biopsy just the same.  Dr. L would be upset if I had a mass removed without biopsy.

No makeup on my lower lid for 3 weeks.  Antibiotic ointment for 2 weeks.  I have a  little stitch that he said will make it so you won't know it was ever fiddled with.  It is nice to get things taken care of.

Happy New Year, 2016

Happy New Year!  Let me start off by thanking each of you for your love and support over the last year (s).  I enjoy sharing my life with you.  I am always amused when one of you comments on something you read on the blog when we are face to face.

Next, I will share my New Year's eve.  Fritz flew into town just in time for a late lunch.  We've been flying to see each other to avoid having to risk driving in the potentially crappy weather.  Flying is not much quicker by the time you factor in the wait to board and all that but it is safer when the mountains are snowy.  There are some pretty wicked mountain passes between us.  I picked Fritz up and we went to Gourmandise for lunch.  Gourmandise is a really cute French cafe in downtown Salt Lake.  I've always known it was there but it wasn't until this summer, when my friend Lesley, invited me to lunch there.  Not only do they have fantastic French pastries, they have the most delicious soup, salad, and sandwiches.

In the evening, we headed out to the McNak's house (Gayle and Erny) for their annual New Years Eve party.  They always put on a really nice party that is always fun.  Once we got there, we made greetings all around and then found a place to park (sit) and visit and enjoy the festivities.  We hadn't thought we would stay until midnight, but as Fritz thought, we ended up staying until midnight and actually past that!  We rang in the new year with a lovely glass of champagne, lots of hugs, and well wishes for the new year.

Gayle - our fun hostess

A little bubbly!

Me and Fritz

I was the DD so I was quite low key.  We made it home safe and sound which is always a relief on nights like this.  We had lots of fun and really love these people and appreciate being involved in their world.

This morning, we started our morning by deciding to start a "Joy" jar.  Each day (or when you feel like it, you put in a slip of paper of something that happened that brought you joy or was good.  On New Years next year, we will open it up and read them all and appreciate the great year.

I feel really good about 2016.  While I anticipate there will be challenges, overall I feel it will be a great year.  I love how a simple flip of the calendar can create a feeling of newness and possibilities. I hope you had a great start to your year.  Embrace the fresh start.