Garbage in, garbage out

Where to start.  I don't know what came over me but I joined an online dating site in the past month.  Maybe it was being hopeful that there just might be someone out there that is interesting.  But really I am doubtful that it will work and my past experience is that online dating sites create an environment for scammers, liars, and hopeless people. 

My membership was about to expire when I received a note from a man in Utah.  He lives out in the south end of the valley.  So I wouldn't have to renew my membership at the site, I gave him my anonymous email address.  We started going back and forth sharing information by email.  Within 2 days, he said he would prefer to text on our phones.  For me, that crosses another line for me.  I don't want some psycho with my cell phone number.  So I kept emailing for a bit longer.  1.5 weeks after we first started emailing, he asked if we  could meet....this week.  Again, this goes against my cautious side.  While I don't mind meeting in person,  I want to complete due diligence and I want to see if it is even worth my time and energy.  The biggest issue is I am crazy busy this week so I replied that I would meet him but I would need to wait for next week because I am a "Mom" this weekend.

Suddenly, our several emails a day came to a screeching halt.  So after 2 days, I decided to email him to make sure he didn't miss my email.  I thought I was being nice and said if he received it, he must not want to pursue getting to know each other and to have a great day.  He emailed back and said I was too slow and he lost interest.  I emailed back and said that I was sorry if he got the wrong impression and that he must remember when he had kids and how much time they take.  Right?  I did say I was surprised by his impatience and sorry I wasn't able to drop my plans for a date with a  total stranger.

I got the most raving email back that still has be laughing and kind of stunned.  He said I was incredibly slow moving and bored him to tears.  That he tried to meet me to move things along but when I said I was busy, he lost interest and that  I should know better than to "bitch slap" a guy for being honest.  What?

While I consider myself boring because I don't do lots of stuff,  I consider myself a great conversationalist and honestly pride myself on writing good stories and interesting emails.  I had not revealed my mobility issues or medical status.  I never said I watch 4 hours of TV (or more) a night.  I didn't tell him I don't do much because I am sick.  He based his opinion on just the fact that I wouldn't be bullied into rearranging my schedule to meet him on his demand!  I'm floored.  And he was so incredibly rude.  What a Jack Wagon!!  I feel sorry for the women that find him charming before his bitter rude side comes out.

You guys know I am pretty self reflective.  I guess in the "exciting" department, I am not super outgoing and spontaneous.  I am sort of boring in my activity level but I do not think my mind is boring and that is all I allowed this man to see.  Maybe in a "online dating" world, I am not thrilling because I am not sexting and jumping all over the first guy that shoots me a message.  I'm going to  keep noodling on this because there has to be some nugget of learning I can take away from this feedback.  But I refuse to internalize it and own it because I don't feel it fits. 

So I guess if you are still awake and can make it through my boring blog, let me know if I bore you.

My current thought is "garbage in, garbage out".  This is a term I used to hear in the office.  If you get crap input, you receive crap back.  If this guy was bored, maybe he needs to look in the mirror.  He lead the tone of our messages.