It's been a little while since I've traveled. I had some very interesting characters that I just had to blog about. I only wish I took photos to really go with the description.
Mrs Doubtfire - I was so excited to be on a 2 seat side of the plane and I had hoped the window seat was empty but alas, it was not. It wasn't long after I boarded that I saw a very tall woman coming down the center aisle. The flight attendant was carrying her bag. She was probably 6'2" and petite would not describe her in the least. Yes, she was my window seat. She practically collapsed in the row. She explained that she had broken her hip but was okay to wait to have it fixed because she already had a hip replacement and both knees replaced. She couldn't reach around to get her seatbelt pieces so she asked me to squeeze my arm around her back and get the part next to the window. Honestly, that is a little intimate for me but I did it. I wanted to put the arm rest down between us but she was so large, she was over on my seat. The arm rest about lined up with her shoulder blade. Now I am not petite by any stretch of he imagination so I don't really have any seat to spare either but I simply had to make due with about 2/3 of my seat. I felt like I was riding the Zugspits at Lagoon. You know the ride that slams you against the person next to you and there is no way you can move? That. After take off, she fell asleep. She kept sleeping off and on and that is when I realized she had some sleep jerking issues. Not really a problem until after drinks and snacks came. She had her tray table down with her Coke and pretzels on it. She fell asleep and her arms fell to her side. Her legs would jerk in rather scary ways. Her arms would jerk and elbow me in the ribs. And her hands would jump. Pretzels went flying everywhere several times. I didn't get too nervous until her legs kept jerking upward and sending her Coke flying. I'll be damned if I am wearing her soda the rest the day. On top of that, she put her chewed gum on the outside of her pretzel wrapper and left it on the floor...along with her water and phone. It was a pretty long 2 hour flight. I couldn't wait to vault off that plane and leave her in the dust. I'm really wondering if it was a woman. She had man hands and was man size. Thus the name.
There were weather issues in Atlanta so we had several hours to kill. Needless to say when we boarded, the plane was completely full. I always work hard to get an aisle seat. It wasn't long after I sat that the window seat guy came. And then later the middle seat guy. He let it be known that he didn't like the middle and tried to get us both to trade. NO THANK YOU.
Mr. Cocky Military Guy - This guy was pretty fit. In fact, his shoulders were bigger than his seat. I'm just gonna say he might as well had a spring between his legs that kept his legs permanently spread. As the aisle seat, you really have a delicate balance because your shoulder on the aisle gets hit all the time. But when your center seat takes the arm rest and then some, you are stuck with your shoulders rolled in and no back support because you don't all fit. When I would sit back, he would sit forward with his elbows out in front of me in an exaggerated fashion showing me how inconvenient it was that I was resting my back. The second I sat forward again, he would snap into the back spot and take over the space again. He was obviously a high metabolism guy because he was hot and permeating heat to me. Shoulders over the line, knees bumping over due to the leg spread. And then he would stretch his arms up and out and fart. Stinky gross farts. Over and over and over. That is just simply unacceptable. Then coming into the airport to land, he brings out his military experience and starts saying really loud that we care coming in too fast and it isn't going to be good. Lots of people are nervous flyers and they don't need to hear a flight know it all. We landed fine and I vaulted out of my seat again.
Airline travel takes lots of patience and tolerance. It can really bring out the worst in people. I do love to watch people and airports are a great place to do that. Just don't take my space because that makes me pissy.
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