17 days of doing my hair
17 different outfits
17 days of wearing a bra
17 days of driving to Murray
17 days of being bolted down to a table
17 days to practice looking down with my eye closed
17 days of hellos and "see you tomorrows"
17 days of tasty candies
17 days of puzzle work
17 days worry and stress
17 days of radiation
DONE!!!
I've been waiting for today for a month. The day I can say I am done with this series of radiation treatments. Today was Michelle and Raccoon lady doing my radiation. When I was done, Michelle came and gave me a huge hug. It was real and it was genuine. And it was way appreciated. We laughed a lot together over the last many weeks. I will miss her. The student lady with the huge smile came and hugged me. The set up lady hugged me. And I cried....and cried....and cried. I was quite taken aback by my emotions. I wasn't ready for that. But it was literally like a huge wave of relief that washed over me.
All those days of being strong. Pretending like nothing was wrong and I handle cancer like a champ....all released. Overwhelming tears of joy flood down my face today.
I met with Dr. C. He is calling this a huge success. He didn't feel anything he was concerned about. I got a list of things to watch for. The radiation will continue to do it's thing for another 2 weeks before I start healing. They have a celebration bell people ring when they are done with treatment. I'm really not a bell ringer. Maybe it is because I know I'll be treating again someday. I hope I have a fabulous team on my side next time. They really are special people.
Today I won! I beat cancer's ass again! I am so relieved.
Thursday, May 29, 2014
Saturday, May 24, 2014
Catching up
I feel I have lots to catch up on. So let's get crackin'....
I met with Dr. C last Thursday. I asked him about the extra 2 radiation treatments. He said his goal was to get 30 M.U.s of radiation in me but they have a series of ways to do that. He chose the more "gentle" way of less units per dose but more doses. He said it isn't as hard on my skin and body but still effective in treating the cancer. So that is why it is 17. That was his plan from the start but didn't really let me know. I'm good with that. He was also thrilled with the lump progression. It continues to shrink. Even the mushy stuff is going down (to me further indication it was cancer) further. My eye is quite irritated. Both the eyeball and the skin where they are radiating. It is a little pink but mostly, it feels sunburned on the inside....if that makes sense. I still have my eyebrow to some degree...which I am happy about. I like my new bang sweep to the other side as it helps camouflage the whole incident but I have found the slightest touch of my bangs on my forehead feels like a burn. So when I am home, I clip them back. I have found the "Udderly Smooth" lotion has been so nice. It is smooth, non-greasy, and soothing to my skin. I'm afraid to say I am having a love affair with this lotion.
Friday, I had my radiation at 10:15 so we could head down to Moab to join my friends for the annual camping trip. The real problem is...I am exhausted. The tiredness started coming last Saturday. Yet it is so frustrating because I lay down to nap and I can't nap for more than like 20 minutes. So I walk around in a zombie state wishing it was all better. So packing up for the trip was lots of work but Philip was so nice and has been the heavy carrying stuff and being at my beck and call. We are in our cute cabin. It has a queen size bed, a set of bunkbeds, mini fridge, electric stove, front porch, and this time, a big lovely shade tree out front. We also are just 2 cabins away from the potties this time. That was planned and requested.
When we got here yesterday, we unpacked the car just before a huge rainstorm came. Shortly after the rain, the power went out for a few hours. It was nice and cool and I love the warm summer rain. But eventually, we got hungry so we headed into town for dinner. We went to Pasta Jays which is a very popular spot in downtown Moab. Much to our surprise, we were able to be seated right away. By the time we got back to the RV park, the power was back on...but the bulb was burned out in the cabin and the office was closed for the night. So Philip and I played on our electronics and went to sleep. Everyone else was out drinking and partying but we were just too tired. I saw some of the ladies in the restroom about 10:15 and they were a little tipsy and wondering how they will ever get breakfast on the table for the group in the morning. Haha.
This morning, there was a huge spread of hash browns, egg scramble (not for me) muffins, and fresh fruit. After eating, Philip went to shower while I made some sandwiches and we headed for a drive to Arches. There was a gigantic line of cars to get in but we finally made it. It didn't seem like the park was quite as crowded as last year once inside. We drove around and took photos from the car. I tried to view things from a different perspective this time since we were just here a year ago. Philip and I listened to music and talked and laughed. We really couldn't find a picnic spot open so we ended up eating our sandwiches in the car on the side of the road. Okay with us. No bugs and the air conditioning was blowing well. We meandered down to the visitor's center and then back to camp.
We have been resting for a bit (although I still can't sleep). In addition to the burned brow, I have a cough. The "pee your pants" type cough. I even brought cough syrup with codeine but it's not cutting it out completely at night. I have one more day on my Zpak. If it isn't better soon, I'll go see Dr. T (My GP).
Good news. Even with my messed up SI joint, I've been able to walk the gravel by myself. Yes I am slow but I can do it. Even at the pavilion!! So that is success.
I got a spray tan on Thursday so I didn't glow in the dark quite so much. My skin seriously has no color. People have teased me about being very pale even with the spray tan. I agree. It is. But so be it. Most the people spend a good hunk of the day around the pool and working on their tans. They all ready have a beautiful tan this season.
And a little ditty from Dr C. When I saw him, we were talking about how busy I am even though I am in radiation. He made a comments about how when you have cancer, you really want the world to stop and allow you time to "deal with cancer"...but you don't get that opportunity and life goes on regardless. That is so true. Great wisdom.
The puzzle at radiation was finished when I got there Wednesday. It was nice they left it out so we could all see.
Well I best close for now. I'm not sure how good the campground wifi is and I need to get cutting up my 20 tomatoes for our group dinner tonight. Do you know I have an entire cooler full of lettuce for taco salads for 45 people? I will be glad to get dinner over so we can clean out all this food and such.
Happy Memorial Day. Amongst all the fun and games of a long weekend, don't forget to pause a moment to appreciate the men and women that work hard to protect our freedom. I am rarely sentimental but this year, I'm with several veterans and you can't help but think about their sacrifice so I can enjoy the freedom to play and celebrate a 3 days weekend!
Here are a few photos from our drive today.
I met with Dr. C last Thursday. I asked him about the extra 2 radiation treatments. He said his goal was to get 30 M.U.s of radiation in me but they have a series of ways to do that. He chose the more "gentle" way of less units per dose but more doses. He said it isn't as hard on my skin and body but still effective in treating the cancer. So that is why it is 17. That was his plan from the start but didn't really let me know. I'm good with that. He was also thrilled with the lump progression. It continues to shrink. Even the mushy stuff is going down (to me further indication it was cancer) further. My eye is quite irritated. Both the eyeball and the skin where they are radiating. It is a little pink but mostly, it feels sunburned on the inside....if that makes sense. I still have my eyebrow to some degree...which I am happy about. I like my new bang sweep to the other side as it helps camouflage the whole incident but I have found the slightest touch of my bangs on my forehead feels like a burn. So when I am home, I clip them back. I have found the "Udderly Smooth" lotion has been so nice. It is smooth, non-greasy, and soothing to my skin. I'm afraid to say I am having a love affair with this lotion.
Friday, I had my radiation at 10:15 so we could head down to Moab to join my friends for the annual camping trip. The real problem is...I am exhausted. The tiredness started coming last Saturday. Yet it is so frustrating because I lay down to nap and I can't nap for more than like 20 minutes. So I walk around in a zombie state wishing it was all better. So packing up for the trip was lots of work but Philip was so nice and has been the heavy carrying stuff and being at my beck and call. We are in our cute cabin. It has a queen size bed, a set of bunkbeds, mini fridge, electric stove, front porch, and this time, a big lovely shade tree out front. We also are just 2 cabins away from the potties this time. That was planned and requested.
When we got here yesterday, we unpacked the car just before a huge rainstorm came. Shortly after the rain, the power went out for a few hours. It was nice and cool and I love the warm summer rain. But eventually, we got hungry so we headed into town for dinner. We went to Pasta Jays which is a very popular spot in downtown Moab. Much to our surprise, we were able to be seated right away. By the time we got back to the RV park, the power was back on...but the bulb was burned out in the cabin and the office was closed for the night. So Philip and I played on our electronics and went to sleep. Everyone else was out drinking and partying but we were just too tired. I saw some of the ladies in the restroom about 10:15 and they were a little tipsy and wondering how they will ever get breakfast on the table for the group in the morning. Haha.
This morning, there was a huge spread of hash browns, egg scramble (not for me) muffins, and fresh fruit. After eating, Philip went to shower while I made some sandwiches and we headed for a drive to Arches. There was a gigantic line of cars to get in but we finally made it. It didn't seem like the park was quite as crowded as last year once inside. We drove around and took photos from the car. I tried to view things from a different perspective this time since we were just here a year ago. Philip and I listened to music and talked and laughed. We really couldn't find a picnic spot open so we ended up eating our sandwiches in the car on the side of the road. Okay with us. No bugs and the air conditioning was blowing well. We meandered down to the visitor's center and then back to camp.
We have been resting for a bit (although I still can't sleep). In addition to the burned brow, I have a cough. The "pee your pants" type cough. I even brought cough syrup with codeine but it's not cutting it out completely at night. I have one more day on my Zpak. If it isn't better soon, I'll go see Dr. T (My GP).
Good news. Even with my messed up SI joint, I've been able to walk the gravel by myself. Yes I am slow but I can do it. Even at the pavilion!! So that is success.
I got a spray tan on Thursday so I didn't glow in the dark quite so much. My skin seriously has no color. People have teased me about being very pale even with the spray tan. I agree. It is. But so be it. Most the people spend a good hunk of the day around the pool and working on their tans. They all ready have a beautiful tan this season.
And a little ditty from Dr C. When I saw him, we were talking about how busy I am even though I am in radiation. He made a comments about how when you have cancer, you really want the world to stop and allow you time to "deal with cancer"...but you don't get that opportunity and life goes on regardless. That is so true. Great wisdom.
The puzzle at radiation was finished when I got there Wednesday. It was nice they left it out so we could all see.
Well I best close for now. I'm not sure how good the campground wifi is and I need to get cutting up my 20 tomatoes for our group dinner tonight. Do you know I have an entire cooler full of lettuce for taco salads for 45 people? I will be glad to get dinner over so we can clean out all this food and such.
Happy Memorial Day. Amongst all the fun and games of a long weekend, don't forget to pause a moment to appreciate the men and women that work hard to protect our freedom. I am rarely sentimental but this year, I'm with several veterans and you can't help but think about their sacrifice so I can enjoy the freedom to play and celebrate a 3 days weekend!
Here are a few photos from our drive today.
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
Today, I went into radiation. I admit, the spring in my step is gone. Finding the optimism and enthusiasm is quickly fading but I only have 5 treatments left. The end is in near. At least that is what I told myself according to my original schedule. But when I got there today, they showed me a new schedule. Dr. C ordered 17 treatments instead of 15. So I have 2 more then I expected. They just forgot to schedule the last 2. So now my last one is 5/29. I tried really hard to not throw a temper tantrum. It's not the therapists fault. It really isn't Dr. C's fault. It is really just the "recipe" for this type of treatment. I'm going to have a private pity party and find the oomph to be okay with the added two treatments. Not that they are horrible. I'm just so ready to be done.
Off to think of good things about the number 2. I'm coming up blank right now but we will see what my crafty mind comes up with. When all else fails, I can usually count on my sassy self to come up with something.
Off to think of good things about the number 2. I'm coming up blank right now but we will see what my crafty mind comes up with. When all else fails, I can usually count on my sassy self to come up with something.
Thursday, May 15, 2014
What is radiation therapy
I had a great video about radiation therapy come across my internets this morning. I wanted to share it with you if you are interested. You can follow this link and then scroll down just a bit and you will see the video.
So if you have questions and wonder what the process entails, you can see it here. I learned more too.
http://www.rtanswers.org/treatmentinformation/whattoexpect/index/
So if you have questions and wonder what the process entails, you can see it here. I learned more too.
http://www.rtanswers.org/treatmentinformation/whattoexpect/index/
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
Is it half full or half empty?
I'm calling today the half way point in my radiation treatments. I guess since the total number is 15 which is not an even number, you can't really split it. But since I've never been a math guru, I'm calling it half way. Really it is as a half empty class time wise....or is it half full because I am almost done...hmmm. I think it is half cooked and I am sliding down the other side.
I can't even begin to tell you how nice it was to not get radiation for 2 days over the weekend. And it made Monday tough to motivate myself to go. It doesn't help that Monday is one of my busiest days at work so it all seemed to wiz by in a second. But as usual, it went smooth. Tuesday's radiation, we had a new "helper" (raccoon eye lady again!) who was pretty aggressive getting the cup on my eye. Ummm...those eyelids are connected to my face, bitch. They put the blubber on and I could tell something wasn't right. So I muttered something to Michelle (my regular set up lady) and she investigated and discovered it wasn't even on right. So more fiddling but we did get it right and moved on to the radiation...which was fine. I still struggle to look down but I keep trying. Michelle said she has my setup figured out so I could take my face marks off. I was honestly a little reluctant but she assured me she has it down and simply didn't need them. So off they went.
I met with Dr. C Tuesday to have more leave paperwork done. Yep, that is right. Even with cancer and daily radiation treatments, you can get denied. But I got it all fixed and received notice this morning that I was approved. Dr. C was thrilled with how the radiation was all going. The beads are gone. He said he couldn't feel cancer but it is still "full" and mooshy. He doesn't think the moosh is cancer but I think it is. I would have loved if he told me we could stop after this week but he said we need to finish. We also had a great talk about sarcomas which was great information. When I left, I was talking to one of the nurses and commented on my "new bangs" and how they really want to stick up in a claw like in the 1980s. By then, Dr. C was there too and another nurse. The nurse challenged me to come in with a "claw" bang today. Well I rarely back down from a joke challenge.
Today, I swept my hair into a side ponytail. I even found a scrunchy! Then I ratted those bangs..and ratted. Straight in the air they went. I walked in and went to her desk. She started laughing and laughing. I laughed the entire drive there. But then I went to the waiting area and took it out. I do think it is amazing how quickly my hair went back 30 years in 2 minutes. And no Aqua Net required.
Yesterday, the man that gets zapped on the same machine as me, right before me was working on the puzzle. He invited me to sit on the other side and work on it too. The mountains are done and we are on the sky. He has some sort of cancer in his neck but he didn't remember the name. He has a great sense of humor and the BEST handlebar mustache. He seems to approach cancer like me...with a "can do" attitude and optimism. He has like 35 treatments so I will be done and gone when he is half done. I really hope he does well. We need to have us fighters paving the way for others.
I took a photo of my eye right after treatment. You can see how irritated it is. It stays like that for a few hours. I've found coming home and using a patch for a few hours gives it the time to recuperate and I am fine the rest the night. What is fascinating about this photo is you can tell how much the lump has gone down. Already...is just 5 treatments!!
I want to take a moment to again publicly tell my Mom Happy Birthday!
I can't even begin to tell you how nice it was to not get radiation for 2 days over the weekend. And it made Monday tough to motivate myself to go. It doesn't help that Monday is one of my busiest days at work so it all seemed to wiz by in a second. But as usual, it went smooth. Tuesday's radiation, we had a new "helper" (raccoon eye lady again!) who was pretty aggressive getting the cup on my eye. Ummm...those eyelids are connected to my face, bitch. They put the blubber on and I could tell something wasn't right. So I muttered something to Michelle (my regular set up lady) and she investigated and discovered it wasn't even on right. So more fiddling but we did get it right and moved on to the radiation...which was fine. I still struggle to look down but I keep trying. Michelle said she has my setup figured out so I could take my face marks off. I was honestly a little reluctant but she assured me she has it down and simply didn't need them. So off they went.
I met with Dr. C Tuesday to have more leave paperwork done. Yep, that is right. Even with cancer and daily radiation treatments, you can get denied. But I got it all fixed and received notice this morning that I was approved. Dr. C was thrilled with how the radiation was all going. The beads are gone. He said he couldn't feel cancer but it is still "full" and mooshy. He doesn't think the moosh is cancer but I think it is. I would have loved if he told me we could stop after this week but he said we need to finish. We also had a great talk about sarcomas which was great information. When I left, I was talking to one of the nurses and commented on my "new bangs" and how they really want to stick up in a claw like in the 1980s. By then, Dr. C was there too and another nurse. The nurse challenged me to come in with a "claw" bang today. Well I rarely back down from a joke challenge.
Today, I swept my hair into a side ponytail. I even found a scrunchy! Then I ratted those bangs..and ratted. Straight in the air they went. I walked in and went to her desk. She started laughing and laughing. I laughed the entire drive there. But then I went to the waiting area and took it out. I do think it is amazing how quickly my hair went back 30 years in 2 minutes. And no Aqua Net required.
 |
| Flash back to the 80s. |
 |
| The puzzle today. The sky is very difficult. |
 |
| Devil eye! |
Saturday, May 10, 2014
Happy Mother's Day
Happy Mother's Day to all my Mom friends out there. I want to take a moment to wish my Mom a very special Mother's Day. Thanks Mom for being there for me over the years. I know I'm not always easy to be around but you keep coming back and showing your unconditional love for me. Thank You. I can't wait to celebrate with you when you come to Salt Lake. Love you.
Changing a part
Today was the haircut. Well and he colored my grey roots too. With the marks on my face, you can't help but have people ask what is going on. Since Logan does my eyebrows, obviously he knows the troubles I've been having. Today he was pretty concerned about the radiation process. He kept bringing it up. Finally I just told him it is what it is and there isn't much I can do about it. We all know that but I guess it sometimes you just have to remind someone. Don't get me wrong, Logan is a sweetheart and is never critical. He just lives his life trying to make people "pretty" so hearing what is coming for me is distressing.
What we did do is change the sides of my part. He actually cut my hair so I could go either way. We also changed my bang sweep. My hair has been parted on the same side for years so it's going to take some time to get it to go the other way. I promised Mom a photo. Here you go.
I can't help but notice the wrinkles and bags around my eyes. I'm sure it has something to do with the radiation.
I'll keep working with switching the part. Hopefully it will "normalize" in about a week. I do think it camouflages the marker marks and eventually will help with the missing eyebrow.
Not like I have a choice anyway.
What we did do is change the sides of my part. He actually cut my hair so I could go either way. We also changed my bang sweep. My hair has been parted on the same side for years so it's going to take some time to get it to go the other way. I promised Mom a photo. Here you go.
I can't help but notice the wrinkles and bags around my eyes. I'm sure it has something to do with the radiation.
I'll keep working with switching the part. Hopefully it will "normalize" in about a week. I do think it camouflages the marker marks and eventually will help with the missing eyebrow.
Not like I have a choice anyway.
Thursday, May 8, 2014
Day 3 in the bank
Day 3 down. Nothing special to report. They were running way behind. The waiting area was full of people waiting for their zap and their drivers/family/caregivers. I would like to think I look like a caregiver instead of a patient but my marker lines on my forehead give me away. I did sit at the puzzle. I found 2 pieces. It is a hard puzzle but obviously, others have more patience than me.
12 left. I admit I am looking forward to the weekend off. I think my eyeball and skin will appreciate it.
 |
| The puzzle today. |
I also tried parting my hair on the other side today. I have to be careful because I have a nasty little bald spot right where my part should go. But I tried it to see if I could do a less deep part. I think it is going to be a winner. I don't know if you change your part often but for me, it totally screws me up. Suddenly I tilt my head and I get a headache. I didn't leave it parted that way because it isn't cut for that side of part so it kept falling in my eyes. But I do have a haircut on Saturday so I can "officially" switch then. My thought is the bang will cover my burned skin and my missing eyebrow I am expecting next week. It will also help take the focus off the marks on my face.
12 left. I admit I am looking forward to the weekend off. I think my eyeball and skin will appreciate it.
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Trick or Treat...Cancer Style
#2 down. It was easy. My eye is irritated again and I am wearing my patch right now to let my eye rest and recover. I'm realizing my left eye vision is not as strong as the right. When this is all done, maybe I'll consider getting some glasses.
One of the great things about cancer is the doctor's offices usually have a basket of candy. Usually it is tootsie rolls and jolly ranchers but Dr. C has a great basket. Not only do they have those, but they had Dots! I love dots. One of the receptionists said she didn't like dots because they get stuck in your teeth...but what a better thing to think about while you are hooked up, bolted down, and incapacitated. I could enjoy those little dots stuck on my teeth. That is a good thing!
I can't help but feel like I am a kid again enjoying my trick or treat snacks. Too bad you have to have a "trick" to get the treat.
One of the great things about cancer is the doctor's offices usually have a basket of candy. Usually it is tootsie rolls and jolly ranchers but Dr. C has a great basket. Not only do they have those, but they had Dots! I love dots. One of the receptionists said she didn't like dots because they get stuck in your teeth...but what a better thing to think about while you are hooked up, bolted down, and incapacitated. I could enjoy those little dots stuck on my teeth. That is a good thing!
I can't help but feel like I am a kid again enjoying my trick or treat snacks. Too bad you have to have a "trick" to get the treat.
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
So it begins....#1 down
I am guessing you are wondering how radiation went today. It was my first treatment out of 15. I won't lie....I was nervous as hell even though I had a good idea what to expect. I got there a few minutes early and checked out the puzzle. It was hard. I was just too nervous to even begin working on it. The lady came to get me. It was one of the same ladies I saw last year which was very comforting. Everyone else in the radiation room were new to me.
They started by having me lay on the treatment table and put in the numbing drops. We waited a few minutes and then they put in the eye guard with the different lube. It was much easier to tolerate although, I'll admit it wasn't something you would volunteer for. Then they put the mask on me and set up the machine. Dr. C came in and said it was set up perfectly. They finished the set up by putting the "blubber" over me (with it hooked to my eye cup (I shutter to even think about it)). They instructed me to look down and they all left the room. They told me the zap will actually be somewhere around a minute. So I practiced my breathing and tried to relax. This time I didn't see the electronic blasts like last time as much. I suspect because of the eye cup protecting my eyeball. They unlocked me from the table and took out the eye cup and sent me to the nurse so I could meet with Dr. C.
My eye was quite irritated but not stinging like before. The eye cup is steel and heavy and no matter how much I tried, my eyeball would not hold still. I'm going to have to practice that. Dr. C was pleased with how my eye looked and said he was glad I could tolerate the cup. He felt we will both be glad I put up with it in the long run. He also said he thinks we will spare the tear duct damage but we won't be sure until it is done. He did say my entire eyebrow will fall out in about 1.5 - 2 weeks but they usually come back over time. We both laughed how much effort goes into radiation when it is on your face. If we were doing anywhere else on my body, we wouldn't even blink at it. He did tell me I must be diligent in staying out of the sun. He also said the skin is going to get really sensitive so learn to be okay with whatever is going on there until I am done and the skin heals. He said anything will irritate it. So when my eyebrow comes off, I will need to just leave it alone and not try to put makeup on it. I also need to keep my lines on. He said it helps them guide it and to remember our goal is to get the radiation in exactly the right spot. Again, we will be glad for the short term inconvenience in the long run. It is critical they have the marks to guide them every day. So I'll keep wearing them.
I felt fine to drive home. I stopped and picked up lunch and then came home to pick up where I left off with work. My eye was pretty sensitive to movement so I wore an eye patch for about 3 hours. When I took it off to see how my eye felt, it was much better so I am going without for now. One thing I didn't count on is the lump is sticking way up after radiation. I am guessing the cancer cells were not happy with what happened today. The little bastard must know it's days are numbered...and I am counting every single day down to zero. Fry bastard fry.
I'm taking it easy tonight. Philip is here and going to make dinner (I could do it but why??) and go to the grocery store for me (he will be at his Dad's for 5 days after today). I hope to get to bed at a decent hour tonight. Tomorrow my appointment is at 3:30.
 |
| The puzzle today 5/6. I barely touched it. |
My eye was quite irritated but not stinging like before. The eye cup is steel and heavy and no matter how much I tried, my eyeball would not hold still. I'm going to have to practice that. Dr. C was pleased with how my eye looked and said he was glad I could tolerate the cup. He felt we will both be glad I put up with it in the long run. He also said he thinks we will spare the tear duct damage but we won't be sure until it is done. He did say my entire eyebrow will fall out in about 1.5 - 2 weeks but they usually come back over time. We both laughed how much effort goes into radiation when it is on your face. If we were doing anywhere else on my body, we wouldn't even blink at it. He did tell me I must be diligent in staying out of the sun. He also said the skin is going to get really sensitive so learn to be okay with whatever is going on there until I am done and the skin heals. He said anything will irritate it. So when my eyebrow comes off, I will need to just leave it alone and not try to put makeup on it. I also need to keep my lines on. He said it helps them guide it and to remember our goal is to get the radiation in exactly the right spot. Again, we will be glad for the short term inconvenience in the long run. It is critical they have the marks to guide them every day. So I'll keep wearing them.
I felt fine to drive home. I stopped and picked up lunch and then came home to pick up where I left off with work. My eye was pretty sensitive to movement so I wore an eye patch for about 3 hours. When I took it off to see how my eye felt, it was much better so I am going without for now. One thing I didn't count on is the lump is sticking way up after radiation. I am guessing the cancer cells were not happy with what happened today. The little bastard must know it's days are numbered...and I am counting every single day down to zero. Fry bastard fry.
 |
| Look how huge!!! This was a few hours after radiation. |
Monday, May 5, 2014
My weekend adventures
I had a way busy weekend. It started on Friday with book club. We meet once a month to talk about the book we read during the prior month. I would like to say I enjoyed it, but I didn't even have a chance to crack it, which is sad because I bought the book even. I went to book club anyway. The hostesses had a fantastic taco bar.
Saturday, I got up and went to brunch at Finn's with the High School ladies. I call them High School ladies but really I think we met in Girl Scouts much earlier. Whenever we get together, we inevitably talk about "the good old days" when we spent all our time chasing boys. Those girls were boy crazy. I suppose I was too although, I was usually the follower in the plans. Many years, husbands, and children later, we also share stores of wrinkles, aging concerns, and how our kids are so old.
Saturday afternoon, I met my "new ladies" (ladies I've got to know over the last 15 years) to go to a Sushi making class. It was suppose to be the group I painted with several weeks ago but many were busy so we ended up a sassy group of 4. We went to Rice Basil which is a restaurant in Holladay. We had the cutest chef, Nate. Nate didn't speak English very well but he was trying and so were we. We made a tempura shrimp cone thing, crab and mackerel roll, and a Negril ball (salmon and rice). As you know, I don't like fish except shrimp but I went with a sense of adventure and did what I could. I enjoyed the cone. I also liked the roll but took the mackerel off. The Negril, I gave my friend Lesley my salmon and I ate the rice with veggies on it. We learned knife cuts and how to roll sushi. We learned the delicate art of sushi rice handling. Not surprising, I clumped my rice too tight. You need loose rice! We had so much fun. What a great thing to do on a Saturday afternoon.
After sushi, I went to pick up my last scrapbook page kit in Lehi. Then I came home and did my online crop challenges for the week. I was a busy girl until 1:00 am. But I got it done and was ready for my lazy Sunday with Methotrexate hang over.
Sunday, Philip and I made cinnamon rolls together and then John stopped by for a visit in the afternoon. Round that out with a call from Nola, Dad, and from Mom, and my cup runneth over. Pretty good for my last weekend before I jump into radiation treatment. I even proudly (or really not so proudly) wore my radiation marks. Everyone asked about them and it forced me to let them know what is going on. I don't think that is a bad thing.
Today I am working. I got my FMLA paperwork turned in. And I feel I am running around trying to get everything done before my first treatment tomorrow. I think I am ready.
Hope you had a great weekend!
Saturday, I got up and went to brunch at Finn's with the High School ladies. I call them High School ladies but really I think we met in Girl Scouts much earlier. Whenever we get together, we inevitably talk about "the good old days" when we spent all our time chasing boys. Those girls were boy crazy. I suppose I was too although, I was usually the follower in the plans. Many years, husbands, and children later, we also share stores of wrinkles, aging concerns, and how our kids are so old.
 |
| L to R - Chris, Tammy, Me, Becky |
 |
| Nate our sushi chef |
 |
| Me and Lesley with our shrimp cones |
 |
| Koli and Gayle |
 |
| Our crab roll in process |
 |
| Finished |
 |
| Cut for serving (with wasabi balls and ginger blossom) |
 |
| Nigril (I took the salmon off the second after I took the photo) |
 |
| Us ladies - Koli, Gayle, Me, Lesley |
Sunday, Philip and I made cinnamon rolls together and then John stopped by for a visit in the afternoon. Round that out with a call from Nola, Dad, and from Mom, and my cup runneth over. Pretty good for my last weekend before I jump into radiation treatment. I even proudly (or really not so proudly) wore my radiation marks. Everyone asked about them and it forced me to let them know what is going on. I don't think that is a bad thing.
Today I am working. I got my FMLA paperwork turned in. And I feel I am running around trying to get everything done before my first treatment tomorrow. I think I am ready.
Hope you had a great weekend!
Friday, May 2, 2014
The set up
So I am back from getting the radiation set up. Everything went okay. They were running late because there was a man screaming in the set up room. That is like the last thing I needed with my anxious nerves. What in the heck is there to scream about??? Anyway, the set up lady remembered me. She was super nice. Of course we talked about tattoos. They usually do tattoos to help them guide the radiation but Dr. C told me they would not do it so I kept making sure they knew that. They also tried the new eye cup again. It was still metal....and it still burned my eye like nothing I can describe. In fact, I got fresh lemon juice in my eye earlier this week and it was a walk in the park compared to this eye cup burn. He thinks it is the lube they use so he wants to bring in some new lube and try again when I start my radiation treatments.
He did compare the lump to before. It has grown since last week. And it is higher than it's been before. In fact, he said if I look down during the radiation, it would totally miss my lens which is where the radiation would go to give me cataracts. But we agreed to try the eye cup anyway just to be safe. Because a I didn't want the tattoos, I got marked up with sharpie...a lot. They first said I have to keep it all on so they can find the right template spot. But the nice lady put some sticker dots on my face and said I could take off the rest. But it still looks ridiculous. Wouldn't you know I have a super busy social weekend? I'm just going to have to bite the bullet and wear the marks proudly. They also made a wire template of the marks and gave me a CT Scan right then and there. I didn't have that before so I have no idea what that will do but I guess it helps make sure they are on the mark. The hardest part was looking down while my eye was closed...and keep it there. They want me to do that during each radiation treatment. I sure hope I can do it. I challenge you to close your eye and see if you can keep your eye looking down as far as you can. It is harder than it sounds. The grumpy set up lady that had super dark heavy smokey eyes (remember the Ellen photo...yeah that) kept telling me to quit moving my eye around. Uhhh...yeah....it isn't on purpose lady.
Anyway, I start on Tuesday, May 6. I will have it daily for 3 weeks so with the Memorial holiday, I will finish on May 27. That means I will still be treating it when I have my Moab trip planned. I missed the deadline to cancel our cabin so we will probably try to go since I have to pay regardless.
I asked the nice nurse and she said she really didn't think I would have many side effects besides burned skin. She said really the radiation is a different type of radiation than they use elsewhere so the fatigue others felt, I probably won't have. I hope that is true.
Dr. Cannon also filled out my paperwork to get the time off work. Much to my surprise, he feels I can continue to work. After much searching and talking, my boss has decided to just allow me the time off as long as it is only 1-2 hours a day. More than that, I will need to go on leave. I thought that was pretty generous. I'm going to try my best to keep my leave to a minimum. But we all agree I need to put my health first and not be a hero.
They insisted I have a set time each day for my radiation. Except the first day, it will be at 3:30. That should be good because I can work most the day and then just need to clean up loose ends when I get home from radiation. And if I feel poopy, I can go to bed.
Philip has agreed to be my helper when he is here. He will do my grocery shopping and he said he will make dinners as needed. With our freezer of Dream Dinners, I think that is going to work okay.
He did compare the lump to before. It has grown since last week. And it is higher than it's been before. In fact, he said if I look down during the radiation, it would totally miss my lens which is where the radiation would go to give me cataracts. But we agreed to try the eye cup anyway just to be safe. Because a I didn't want the tattoos, I got marked up with sharpie...a lot. They first said I have to keep it all on so they can find the right template spot. But the nice lady put some sticker dots on my face and said I could take off the rest. But it still looks ridiculous. Wouldn't you know I have a super busy social weekend? I'm just going to have to bite the bullet and wear the marks proudly. They also made a wire template of the marks and gave me a CT Scan right then and there. I didn't have that before so I have no idea what that will do but I guess it helps make sure they are on the mark. The hardest part was looking down while my eye was closed...and keep it there. They want me to do that during each radiation treatment. I sure hope I can do it. I challenge you to close your eye and see if you can keep your eye looking down as far as you can. It is harder than it sounds. The grumpy set up lady that had super dark heavy smokey eyes (remember the Ellen photo...yeah that) kept telling me to quit moving my eye around. Uhhh...yeah....it isn't on purpose lady.
 |
| These marker marks are covered with clear stickers so they won't rub off. |
I asked the nice nurse and she said she really didn't think I would have many side effects besides burned skin. She said really the radiation is a different type of radiation than they use elsewhere so the fatigue others felt, I probably won't have. I hope that is true.
Dr. Cannon also filled out my paperwork to get the time off work. Much to my surprise, he feels I can continue to work. After much searching and talking, my boss has decided to just allow me the time off as long as it is only 1-2 hours a day. More than that, I will need to go on leave. I thought that was pretty generous. I'm going to try my best to keep my leave to a minimum. But we all agree I need to put my health first and not be a hero.
They insisted I have a set time each day for my radiation. Except the first day, it will be at 3:30. That should be good because I can work most the day and then just need to clean up loose ends when I get home from radiation. And if I feel poopy, I can go to bed.
Philip has agreed to be my helper when he is here. He will do my grocery shopping and he said he will make dinners as needed. With our freezer of Dream Dinners, I think that is going to work okay.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)