What I miss....footie jammies

I don't know that it is a huge secret that Philip slept with me off and on from my divorce from Ryan until his 11th birthday.  There were periods of times when he would sleep in his own bed but he just preferred being in my bed. We both slept so well.

There was nothing kinky or bad about it.  When I talked to his Pediatrician about it, she said it was really a family choice.  Some cultures it is absolutely normal and for some reason, in America, we've decided it is not okay.  But if I chose to keep him in my bed, it would be a long commitment so to consider that when I make the choice.

When Philip was little, he took a bath before bed.  We would put him in his footie sleeper and he would come to bed.  We would read stories and laugh together.  We would wake up in the morning and look at each other, greet each other, and start our day.  As he grew out of footie sleepers, he had miscellaneous jammies that always included socks.  He got cold feet.  And he liked to be warm and cozy.

He would snuggle into me and we would hug.  When he was a toddler, he loved to be "pet" to sleep just like I pet our kittycat .  We also listened to lullabies (same ones since he was born).  We would snuggle and I would lay there thinking how precious the closeness was and how one day I would miss it.  I would pet his hair and smell the wonderful smell of kid/baby shampoo and a clean boy.  As he grew, our bodies would match up different.  His feet would barely hit my legs.  Then my knees.  All signs he was growing.  I specifically remember his soft sky blue footie jammies.  So so cute.  He has always looked so handsome in blue.

It's been years since he slept in my bed.  Once in a while, we would lay in the bed during the day to catch up or tell stories but the last several years, as he becomes a teen, we have hit the point where even hugs are awkward.  He hesitates to even come talk to me in my room and can't wait to leave.  All this is normal of course.  It is the way it should be.  But I miss those snuggles in footie jammies.  I miss having those close times with my boy.  Those talks of Pokémon cards, friends at school, and whatever is on his mind.  It all laid the ground work for probably the best relationship a Mom can hope to have with a teen son.  I know that.  But I miss it anyway.