I slept in super late today and woke with a headache. I'm sure staying up until 2:00 am was part of the problem. I lazed around until I just had to get some things done. I went out to do my errands and on the way back, was wondering what I could do to get out of my lazy, grumpy funk. When I hit me...I need to go to the gym!
I bought a new 2 year gym membership in December. I don't like going the first few weeks of January. You get all the New Year's Resolution people and it is crazy. But by the 3rd week of January, it has died down a little. Well today was the day for me. It was just the cure for my tired body, weak muscles, headache, stress, and general pissy shitty mood. Nothing like a healthy dose of endorphins to fix everything. Hell. It is almost as good a sex right? (Yes I said ALMOST.)
I'll confess to you but you have to promise you won't tell anyone else. Promise? Well I've not stepped foot in the gym for 15 months. Long ago, I was sick as hell. Then I was tired. Then it was the holidays. Then it was January. Then it was....I don't know....full of cancer? Finally last April, my membership expired. Probably good timing because I was dealing with cancer and just couldn't do cancer and the gym. Over the last 15 months, I have watched my ability dwindle. My strength (what little there was) went away. The thoughts of a cane or a Jazzy becoming more and more comfortable to me. Toss in the hassles and stress of being a single Mom to a teen and I am a giant mess!
So I pulled out my yoga pants (which are never very far since they are my general work attire these days), grabbed my Skull Candy headphones, and headed out....yes at 5:00 pm. By 5:15 I was on the recumbent bike. I had worked up to a strong 20 minutes on the bike before but since it has been so long, I set it for 10 and started my workout music. I have my music set to help me do intensity cycles through the 20 minutes. 1st song is slow and steady. Second song is faster. Third song is pumping as hard and I can go. 4th song slow and steady. 5th song is pumping hard...and 6th song is back to slow. I skipped through and finished my 10 minutes with 4 intensity cycles. But I still felt strong so I set the bike for another 5 minutes and went 2 more cycles.
I honestly wasn't sure if I could get off the bike. So I took it slow....drank some water....finally got up and walked to the weight machines. I honestly don't know what they all are called. But they are machines my Physical Therapist told me would be good for me years ago. So I started on the arm machine that squeezes your boobs. Put the weights on the lightest weight and was able to do 50 reps! Then I went to the "lay down squat machine". This is for my quads, hamstrings, and hip flexors. I was able to do 40 reps there. And 20 calf bounces. Then the hip flexor machines. They look like "sex prep" machines because you start with either your legs spread and squeeze in or legs in and push out. Checked those off although I only did 10 lbs. I gotta get out of the gym after all so I didn't want to overdo it. Then I finally went over to my arm pull down bar thingy. The lowest weight on those is 20 lbs. I do 3 different pull downs in different arm positions to work my different arm muscles the best I can. I was able to do 75 reps of each! I just finished my basic workout! Even after 15 months. And I did it in 50 minutes!
And then I finished my second bottle of water since arriving at the gym and wondered if I could make it to the bathroom to wash my hands. There are so many germs in the gym. I really worry about getting sick when I go. So I waddled (that is no exaggeration) to the bathroom and washed up. As I did that, I looked in the mirror and was so proud of myself.
I got a cancer dent in my face. My muscles are shaking like crazy. My poor body can barely go through it's daily duties but it rose to the occasion despite the Polymyositis. It remembered how to work out! It almost felt like I was home again.
You know, I made a deal with my body years ago. If it would try not to kill me so quickly, I would try to not kill it. I would feed it better. I would drink my water. I would stress less. And I would nourish it with activity that it will allow. I think it remembered our deal and it decided it would do it. It would do it and get me through. It wouldn't drop me on the ground and embarrass me and we agreed if I could make it to the car, we would be okay. And we did. And I made it in the house. And now we can rest.
I am positive I will be sore....tomorrow...well maybe even tonight. I can already feel it. But I am committing to myself to go to the gym 3 days a week. I will get back into my gym routine and let my muscles know they can't give up. They won't give up and dammit, they must fight because I am fighting and I refuse to give up. Screw you Jazzy. You are just going to have to wait because I am back at it and gonna fight for every single step and every single muscle!
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