The Tranny Granny - This woman was very sweet but almost as soon as I met her, I learned her husband of 17 years (divorced for 6) was a cross dresser. And she was VERY hurt still (6 years later!!!) by it. Every chance she had, she would talk about it and how she is single because her husband liked ladies panties. I told her I could feel her pain and encouraged her to learn to let it go because she is the one suffering but she seemed to enjoy that pain she was bearing.
The Token Gay - Every large group has one or two. I actually really enjoy gay guys. They are funny so usually really in touch with themselves (no pun intended). Tony was a very nice man and so so funny. A group of us straight people found ourselves crashing the gay party every night after dinner. And there was usually 20-30 gay (mostly men) guys at these gatherings every night. I was happy to see out and and supported.
Swinger Guy - This guy (never learned his name) was very nice and quite interesting to talk to but he was very open about being married. His wife was a big wig diplomat at the UN. They were currently living in France but he was stateside to visit family and decided to cruise while here. On night 3, he told me in a very serious conversation that he and his wife were swingers and he was looking for a single woman or married couple on the cruise to play with. No judgement here. I believe everyone is allowed to be their authentic self...but no thanks. I really really wonder if indeed his wife gave him a free pass for sex or if he just wanted to play while he couldn't be checked on.
Moocher or Meat Market Matt - Oyi. Where to begin. Matt and his friend Rob (who I will introduce next) were on the cruise on a Florida resident special. There were many on the cruise on the special. Hell I would be too because it was $199 for the week!! Anyway, Matt was cruising for women hard. He had a stream of women he was chasing. Many women fell for his gig during the week but I was totally turned off. He and Rob both thought they were real ladies men. One night, Matt asked me to get him a drink of my package (he didn't get the package in his deal) so I took pity on him and did but then I wanted out. He chased me to the elevator telling me he is a nice Italian man, a great lover, and really liked me. Uh. No thanks. It is day 5 and I've already heard of your escapades from other women. He was pretty surprised and put off I wasn't interested and was pretty frank about it.
Rob the Creeper - Ran with Matt. Every meet those types of guys that just make your skin crawl? I met Rob (and Matt) the first sea day at the meet and greet. I was at a table with other ladies when Rob came up and said "Oh a table of ladies! I need to join you." He proceeded to pull up a chair and tried to hit on each of us one by one. One lady said she had cruised with him before and he invites women to his room all the time. That is a creeper for sure!
Ms Peebody - I feel bad bringing him/her up because I think there is more to the story but this was a woman/man (I really couldn't tell through the androgyny the entire week) that was from England. Pleasant enough but was so incredibly stinky. Not just "I am so hot and sweaty" stink but I've not bathed for 2 weeks and not only do I have urinary incontinence I refuse to address, I have a serious sweating issue that requires medical intervention. I really noticed this issue one night when we were standing next to each other waiting to be seated for dinner. I made sure to sit away from her (I'll use female because she wore makeup every day). I saw her several times and when she would sit, it was only seconds before those around her got up and found another seat. About half way through the cruise, I noticed she quit coming to any of the group things and wandered the ship alone. Pretty sad really.
Historic Lawyer - One night, I sat next to a gentleman (retired defense attorney) that seemed pleasant enough but he could not stop dribbling on about history in the most minute detail. After 45 minutes, I told him I am just not interested in history at all and turned my head to talk to someone the other direction. He got up and left after a salad. Sadly, the last night, he had a coupon for free dinner at the french restaurant for 2. He invited me to join him but I quickly declined because I just didn't want to get stuck listening to him again. No Cordien Bleu is worth that!
Hot for you Scott - Awe Scott. He was a Southern man that was very open that he was looking for a date beyond the cruise. He would look at a woman and size them up quickly to decide if she was up to his standard. There were some very attractive women traveling solo. Each one he would run up too and introduce himself in his most charming way. Full on obvious pick up attempt. Well, obviously I wasn't his cup of tea. In fact, when he would look at me, he pierced his lips and would just turn away. No sweat off my brow. One night, someone tried to introduce us in the solo room. I said "Oh I've met Scott. He seems very interested in beautiful women." Scott snapped his head around and asked if I had been watching him. I replied that yes indeed I observe everyone. People watching is one of my favorite things. On the last night, I had the misfortune of sitting next to Scott for dinner. He had "bites" all over his right arm. He was convinced they were bedbug bites and practically was in a full fledged anxiety attack all through dinner. Several of us told him they didn't look like bed bug bites but right after dinner, he was going to march right down and demand a refund for his cruise and generous compensation for the inconvenience. I learned he was 59 and lived with 5 other people in a 3 bedroom house. He is a customer service rep for a health insurance brokerage. (LOSER) I saw him the next morning and asked him what he learned. They told him it was Sand Flea bites from the beach at Harvest Cay and that is why they tell everyone to use bug spray with Deet. No compensation. He did ask me to come visit him in Charlotte, NC. He said this as he gently rubbed my arm. I'm pretty sure I pierced my lips when I said I probably wouldn't make it.
Government Assistance Sob Story - One day I was sitting at the bar area watching the Atrium antics from the second story. A woman came and sat by me and started talking to me about her world of woe. Honestly, the surroundings were so loud and she talked so softly, I only caught about 40% of what she said. I did learn she is on government assistance (for many years) and saves up for a cruise 1-2 times a year. I'm no judge but I can't imagine cruising while on Medicaid. Just seems wrong to me. And why would you tell everyone???? I might eat my words one day but for now, I find that just wrong and sad.
The Hot Grandma - One night, I was down at Howl at the Moon. Someone had requested a song to celebrate her 60th birthday. Well they called her down to sit on the piano while we all sang to her. This woman in a skin tight mini dress, long thick styled blonde hair, and 5" heels comes down. I swear she looked 35. Her skin was soft and non-saggy. No real wrinkles. Her legs were toned and youthful. Everyone was shocked. Well her husband came right down and stood by her while everyone sang. I am sure he keeps a close eye on her. Seriously 60??? I saw her later by the pool in a skimpy bikini. Very toned and smooth. Seriously really 60?? No way.
Ashley Know it All - I feel really bad about this one because I met Ashley in my Solo Cruiser Facebook group about a week before we sailed and helped her get into a cruise group on Facebook. I regretted it almost immediately. She is one of those really loud know it all people. In fact, without saying a thing, many people were turned off by her almost right away. I'm sorry I sponsored her in. Obviously she must be fun because she made lots of friends.
Elephant leg Alex - Yes. This is me. By Thursday, I woke up with swollen legs, ankles, and feet. This does happen to me when it is hot, my legs dangle too much, or I have too much sodium. It was bad and frankly, really hurt to walk. It got so bad, I couldn't even shove my feet in all the way in my flip flops. It never did get better the rest the cruise. On other cruises, I brought enough pants I could kind of cover up the problem but in my haste to pack light, I only had 1 pair of jeans and 2 pairs of capris. Since it was hot a Hates, I wore the capris with my HUGE white legs sticking out. No lie when I walked, they jiggled.....thuga wugga...thuga wugga...thuga wugga. I'm still working on getting the swelling down through keeping them elevated and drinking lots and lots of water. Maybe by the weekend they will be back to normal.
Don't get me wrong, I met lots of great people but sitting in a room of solo people, it was pretty easy to see why some people are still single and searching. I'm sure others thought things about me too. Thank goodness we aren't all the same because that would be boring.
Here are my poor feet the last day of the cruise. Ouch!
Your poor feet! Hope they are getting better. Loved your description of your shipmates.
ReplyDelete