Sticky spit Jeff

I am realizing I've been dating a long time.  A by product of being single longer than my marriages combined.  I honestly can't really even remember or list all the guys I've dated/met.  Over these many years, I find I enjoy nicknaming my dates.  Something about each guy that makes it easier to talk about them without getting lost.

Sticky Spit Jeff, The missing link, Toothless Wonder, 9 Hour date guy, Denture boy, Bear Man, Mr Cold Oatmeal, Gout Man, Batman, The Jackass, etc.   You get the idea.  Not especially nice but since I am still single, obviously, they didn't care for me either.  I am sure they call me names too.  Some I've been called is Bitch, Water Buffalo, Fatso, Toxic woman, Old lady....but I digress.  My point is it is what it is....dating is rough.

Sticky Spit Jeff was really fun at planning dates.  He took me to basketball games, concerts, movies, and even dinner at his place with his best friend and his date.  We were dating during the holidays and he invited me to his family's Christmas party (they gave me a bar of soap).  He asked me to join him for New Years but I already had plans with my BFF at the time.  We were going to the Utah Jazz players concert and dance party.  We bought fancy dresses even. I explained to SS Jeff that I could not make it as I already had plans.  And he only asked a few days before New Years. He asked several times and said it was really important I come by.  I just didn't want too.  I never heard from him again.  No big loss because he was a little weird in that there was no chemistry or physical interaction.  No kiss. No hugs.  Nothing which is kind of weird after several dates.

The other day, Philip, Tiffany and I were at Litza's Pizza.  We were sitting there eating when Sticky Spit Jeff came in. He had a large group so he was waiting out front.  I am pretty sure he didn't recognize me. I knew it was him because he lost a finger nail way before I met him....oh like 15 years ago...and he still was sporting a bandaid on his middle finger, which he always did when we dated. Philip remembered Sticky Spit Jeff too. As he walked past us with his family, we all kind of looked.  Then I asked Philip, could you see me with that guy?  He shook his head and said no way!!  I couldn't see it either.

Anyway, I thought it was interesting to see someone so many years later at one place he took me for a date all those years ago.  Although Salt Lake isn't the hugest city, I rarely see people again.  But Sticky Spit Jeff changed that trend on that day.  And I am still glad I am single.

And why was he Sticky Spit Jeff?  Well when he talked, he would have spit string between his lips in the corner.  I think it is a product of dry mouth and thick spit.  Could be a little delayed dental hygiene....I'm not sure.  But having been a dental assistant years ago, I can't date someone without amazing dental hygiene.  Especially if there is zero physical chemistry.  I've always wondered why it was so important for me to come over New Years Eve.  I'll never know.

On a side note, I learned last week that 9 Hour Date guy got married last month.  Guess his "chosen one" is more patient than me listening to a guy droning on and on and on and on.  Hahaha