What dating as taught me

I don't know that I can even begin to explain what dating in your 50s is like.  But I have some very interesting observations to share.  Interesting enough, I had another date on Monday.  During the 9 hours  (yes 9...not exaggerating) of my date talking non-stop, I came up with the idea of bullet point lists of what I've learned during my recent dating.  I thought I would share.

1. If he says he sucks at dating, believe him.  He has had lots of experience in trying.
2. Most men over 50 want to date someone that looks 30 or less
3. When they say they are "average build", they are overweight but don't identify with that
4. They list tons of activities they like to do like hiking, skiing, running, etc.  That is an exaggeration.
5. Everyone has something when it comes to health.  My mobility issue is no big deal.
6. If they are still close friends with an Ex, they are not emotionally available
7. Losers come in all packages
8. Men aren't shy about telling you (without ever being intimate) they have erectile dysfunction....and most over 50 have it.
9. Men seem to really enjoy talking about themselves and don't really want to learn much about you.  Run from these men.
10. Since when did meeting for coffee at 2:00 turn into a 9 hour date without food?  Guys don't feel they need to take you to dinner anymore.  Eat before you go.
11. I am doing okay.  I am attractive, smart, successful and have lots of shit going well for me.
12. There are tons of women that will sleep with him when you say you want to wait until you know them better.  Don't be pushed.
13. Dating takes practice so always look for the good in every opportunity.
14. In order to meet the good guys, you have to sort through a bunch of frogs.  Don't give up.  He is out there.
15. Cats are always happy to love and cuddle when you come home mentally exhausted from your date.

I will keep trying.  Sometimes I just shake my head.  One thing is for sure is the dating landscape has changed quite a bit.

You can't save them all

This morning, I got a call I was kind of expecting.  It was Erin at Best Friends.  She has been keeping me updated on my Valentine, Little Miss Sophie.  Sophie went back to the nursery for more intense care.  They were still force feeding her with little to no progress.  She continued to lose weight.  Although she rallied last Friday and ate a little food on her own, she quit eating again.  So sweet Erin called me today to say that they made the decision that her quality of life was poor and she was not thriving so they had to put her to sleep.  They never could find anything medically wrong with her.  Was she depressed?  Traumatized?  We don't know.  I am so sad for Miss Sophie.

What I do know is Best Friends did more for Miss Sophie than many owners would do.  They did lab work, urinalysis, special diet, countless medications, and several Xrays.  They couldn't find a thing wrong and nothing was helping.  It is important to remember that she came from a  shelter so we don't know her history or background.  We don't know if she was sick before and that is how she landed in a shelter.  I do know we tried.  We really really tried to figure out the mystery of a cat that won't eat.

While she was with me, I could tell she just didn't feel good.  She also had a pretty funky smell.  She was only with me a few days but it was part of the journey to figure out what will help her.  I did everything I could think of to help her.  I've never seen a kitty that won't eat or potty for a week or more.  I've never hoped for a poop on the floor more in my  life.  It is the right, and most humane, thing for Miss Sophie.  I am so impressed with Best Friends and their care for the animals and for compassionately keep me updated on her progress.  Full transparency is what it is all about.

As I foster, I realize part of the process is we really can't save them all. It is inevitable that I would eventually get a kitty that didn't make it.  But we will do everything possible to give the pets the best opportunity to thrive.  And that is what it is all about.

Monkey see, Monkey do

Baby and Sissy came from the same litter (although I often question that).  But they couldn't be different cats.  Sissy is shy and super sweet.  Baby, well she has always been a little more outgoing but she is not the brightest bulb in the box.  We've had a long standing series of "Stupid Cat Moves" performed by Baby.  What really cracks me up is she seems to copy Sissy.  She will observe for a long time and then eventually, steal Sissy's routine.  Sissy likes to snuggle at night before bed. Baby used to stay in the other room at night but now Baby comes to bed too.  And she sits right in Sissy's spot which makes Sissy really upset.  Upset enough that Sissy will go sit on the floor!  In our house, that is a HUGE deal.  That is just one example though.  There are many.

Sissy loves to sit by me on the couch.  It took her a long time after we moved to get used to the leather couch instead of the upholstered couch we had before but she has now embraced it and all is good in the world.  Baby?  Hmmmm....maybe a corner is okay but the leather isn't her thing.  A few weeks ago, I caught a photo of Sissy laying across the pillow with her sexy pose.  I thought it was cute and posted it on Facebook.  Here is what I captured.  Cute huh.  So sexy I should take lessons from her!

Yesterday, I was working away on the computer sensing a kitty behind me.  I just assumed it was Sissy.  Much to my surprise, it was Baby!  She was trying to copy Sissy by sitting on the couch over the pillow.

I laughed so hard.  Baby doesn't quite have the finesse that Sissy has but you gotta give her some credit for trying!  Silly Baby.  Meanwhile, Sissy was completely disgusted with the imitation so she went to the bedroom to lay on my clothes before Baby learned about that too!

My kitties amuse me so.  I think it is so funny how Baby copies Sissy.

Valentine's Day - 2017

This year found me single again but I wasn't going to let that ruin my Valentine's Day. See, I believe we can find and celebrate love everywhere and in all relationships.  And I did that very thing.  One thing for sure is I  love my friends and family.  I love close friends and far away friends and new people I meet that aren't really my friends.  So love is all around.  I enjoy seeing messages of love on social media.  And Valentine's is a perfect time to focus on that.  Many call it a "Hallmark Holiday" but instead if cynicism, I think of it  more as a day to remember to express love.

I had a voucher for Paint Nite that was going to expire before the end of the month so I decided to go to Paint Nite for Valentines.  They had a painting I liked in Highland which is around the mountain on the way to Timpanogas Cave.  The traffic can be kind of nasty in the afternoon so I decided to give myself plenty of time so I wasn't stressed.  I got there about 25 minutes early which is perfect to order some food (it was at Blue Lemon) and pick the perfect seat.  I decided to sit in the front facing the painting so I could see.  Did I interrupt the seating for all the lovely couples that showed up after me?  You bet.  Do I care?  Not one bit.

The painting we were doing was a heart "cloud" with two love birds beak to beak. I figured with a little adaption, I  could still enjoy this painting without the focus on kissing and couples.  The leader of the night was a man which is a little different but he was very sweet and accommodating to me which was nice.

We started painting the background and placing the huge heart.  Instead of a heart, I did a circle.  And when we started painting the birds, mine were "curious about each other" instead of kissing.  He kept and eye on my painting and commented several times how much he enjoyed my adaption.  He laughed when he saw the birds and said "It looks like that one is saying 'your cologne smells good.  want to move in closer?'" I couldn't agree more.

What we were supposed to paint.

What I painted.

I am good with it.  I think it came out okay.  I'm learning more about pressure and paint on my brush to make delicate branch endings.  It isn't easy but I see progress.

I am also dieting.  With Philip moved out, I didn't have any reason to make Valentine cookies or get candy so I stayed on my diet.  I am pretty proud of myself but I did allow myself to buy 1 sugar cookie at Blue Lemon.  It was so good and I enjoyed it.  I'm glad they were $3 each so I didn't have more....or the temptation of more cookies at home to eat.

Mom and Chuck also came into town for the weekend and surprised me with a dozen red roses!  How sweet is that?  They are absolutely beautiful and smell so good.

Maybe this is TMI but I like big cotton underpants.  Nothing sexy here but I was buying some new ones the other day.  When you are an old lady and you like cotton underpants, you get them in bulk...like 6 to a package.  I saw a package that had pink polka-dot underpants in it!  I bought that pack so fast your head would spin.  So I wore my cute pink polka-dot panties all day and every time I thought about them, I smiled because I love polka-dots and they are fun and festive.  It reminded me of little girls when they start wearing panties as toddlers and are so excited about them.  I encourage you to get you some pink (or blue, yellow, orange, whatever) polka-dot panties.  See if it puts a spring in your step too.

I have to say, I had a great Valentine's Day.  And most important?  I'm able to not only love and nurture myself, I shared love with those around me.  What's better than that??  I hope you had a fantastic day too!  Love you all.

Little Miss Sophie - My Valentine

So Best Friends asked if I would take a kitty for a bit.  I call her Little Miss Sophie (her name is Sophie).  Sophie had been out to be adopted but started not eating.  They have been watching her for 2 weeks and she continued to have problems.  They did blood work, urinalysis and Xrays and couldn't find a thing wrong. Her teeth look great too. They wondered if she might be depressed or stressed by the shelter type environment and asked if I could bring her home to see how she did here. I went to get her Saturday and they give me very special instructions.  Little Miss Sophie was no longer eating.  She wasn't pooping and she wasn't peeing either.  It has been many days already.  In very rare situations, they told me to try to feed her absolutely anything.

So they sent me home with a bunch of different foods.  I tried special organic food, dried food, wet food, treats, chicken, eggs, beef, milk, kitty milk, Iams, Friskies, Fancy Feast, cat grass, and even fresh cat nip.  Notta. Not one was worth her eating.  She wouldn't drink either.  She continued to groom and loved to be pet but not fussy about being held.  To keep her alive, if she failed to eat all day, at the end of the day, I gave her a syringe of special prescription goop that is high calorie and would keep her alive.  For 2 days, I did that.  She still didn't poop or pee.  :-(  So today, I called and they agreed she had to go back.  They want her to to go the Kitten Nursery where they have turned it into an adult holding spot until they do kittens again.  They have around the clock care for the kitties and the vet can watch her even closer.

I can't help but feel like I failed Little Miss Sophie.  I told them if they figure out what is wrong and if she needs foster again, to please let me know because I will happily take her back home.  They promised they would keep me posted how she was doing.  I hope they figure it out and can help her. She is a sweetheart. I love her already.

The really funny thing is all her failed food eventually ended up in my kitchen.  Well I guess I forgot to toss some quickly and one of my kitties cleaned that right up.  Pretty funny for kitties that have never had wet food.  My kitties gave it an enthusiastic two claws up!!

Time for another weekly update....

Another week rolls around and it is time to update you on what is going on in my world (plus my work computer is being worked on so....).

This week continued to be a busy week for me.  Since my last post, I went on a date with a new guy.  I've had my eyes on him for a little while so I was very happy when he reached out to me.  We seem to have things in common and the chemistry between us seems good.  Unfortunately, we are both busy and our schedules keep conflicting.  We are hoping to have another get together in the next few days.  I keep my options open with other guys too but no one I've wanted to meet yet.  We will see what happens.

Best Friends  had a volunteer appreciatation party last Monday.  It was a really nice party at Squatters Brew Pub.  We had the best vegetarian appetizers and an open bar!  I was really surprised when Philip said he would come with me!  He soon regretted it as he realized it was a "sit around and visit" event.  Much to my surprise, I was chosen in a drawing to win a package of "glamour" merchandise.  I got a hat, shirt, bracelets, cat toys, and a basket it came in.  It was fun because I never win anything.  While there, I was encouraged to keep fostering.  There is a significant need for foster homes.  I hit them up for another adult foster soon, and I told a few people I am not able to commit to the kitten nursery this next season.  I would be willing to help in a pinch but the 2+ hours a week is just too much for me.  I will really miss those babies but it was taking a toll on  me physically.  And it was tough to do that and fosters at the same time.  It was exhausting.  They did share a video at the party that is on YouTube so I share it with you if you are interested (I'm not in it).  We are doing great things and slowly moving the needle to become a "No Kill" state.  It is amazing to me that we saved 1,300 kittens last season that would have been killed had the nursery not been established.  I love being part of such a wonderful organization.

2016 Best Friends Volunteer Video

I attended my first HOA Annual meeting yesterday.  It was nice to meet the other tenants that I've not met yet.  I had a few observations.

1) I am the youngest here
2) The management has a tough job to appease us all
3) No I don't want to be a committee member
4) People with open deck condos are whiners (10 out of 39 units have an open patio)
5) I'm not the only one that hates our internet provider.

I got a little frustrated with the "placating" that went on in the meeting.  I hate when I don't feel heard. But I kept calm and when the meeting was over, I beat feet out so I didn't have to talk to anyone.

Today I went out of my unit and much to my surprise, someone dug through the garbage and left me a little treat outside my door.  I had tossed a small box in the trash on the way to the meeting last night.  We do have recycling but you have to go down to the parking lot for that and I honestly don't always have the energy to do that and most times, the cans are full.  So in the trash it went. Recycling is not mandatory.

To find this outside  my door was not a great discovery this morning.  I can't believe someone would climb in the garbage dumpster to fish out my box, write a note on it, and leave it at my door.  Why not just talk to me about your passion for recycling?  Did you find my huge bag of used cat litter too while in there?  I shared the image with our HOA manager.  I told him if someone complains, please have them come talk to me and I will share my views on kindness. I really wanted to do something equally venomous but instead I took it down and put it in the recycler.  I just can't stand garbage nazis and mean people.  This person is a spineless bitch.  I guess we aren't the happy community I thought we were.

To top it off, I got down to my car and jumped on in.  There was a Diet Coke on the seat which is really weird but whatever (I keep an emergency spare in the center compartment).  I get down the road and go to plug in my phone and my charging cable is gone.  It was then I realized someone broke into my car while it was parked in our secure garage. They took my charging cable, my new sunglasses, my ipod, my makeup bag, and I think other things are gone but I can't figure out what.  I think they tinkered under the dash because my display was weird. Papers were shifted around and garbage pulled out from  under the seat.  They left a sprinkler wrench on the floor.  I am positive I locked my doors so I have no idea how they got in.  I will be more careful with my locking procedures going forward.  Because the garage is "secure", I have no idea how/who is doing this.  The things they took were not of great value.  The Ipod was about 15 years old I swear and one of Philip's old ones.  I did like my sunglasses but they weren't expensive. Not a good day on Parley's Way today!

I finally took time this week to go up to the gym in the condo and check out the bike.  It has been a long time since I've done any gym type exercise so it was shocking to see how foreign it felt to my body.  I am going to make it a goal to get up there every other day and work on my cardio fitness.  I am really out of shape.  I want to be more fit and mobile for my Spring and Summer plans!

Big news for the end of today's blog is that Philip has finally decided to move out this weekend.  He and Tiffany want to make a run at living together.  They've been together for over 3 years so it makes sense.  He is going to stay in her parent's apartment with her for a few months while they look for an apartment.  It reminds me of when I first moved out.  Such a big step. For now, I see it more as he is staying with Tiffany for an extended period of time.  He is leaving most his stuff here due to the space limitations there.  When they move to their own apartment, that will be a bigger deal.  I am doing okay with it and I am proud of Philip and how he is approaching the whole thing.  He promised we will see each other weekly so that will be nice and not that much different than how much I see him now.  Plus I got practice when he left for ASU for 9 months.

I will close here for now.  Thanks for reading along and letting me share my week.  I hope you've had a good week yourself.  Next week is the week of love...or as I fondly call it, Singles Awareness Day. I have some plans though and will share them with you next week.

Fussing with my eyes

Much to my surprise, when I flipped the calendar to February, it was time for a check up on my eyes.  You might recall, I've been seeing a specialist post radiation because I now suffer from dry eye.  We also continue to monitor for eye damage from the radiation.

I kind of suspected he would dilate my eyes.  And indeed he did. But first they numb them to check the pressure of my eyes.  There is something weird feeling about having your eyes numbed.  About 2.5 seconds later (or so it seemed) the drops were put in to dilate and I was sat in the "back waiting room" while the drops worked their magic.  It is sort of surreal being back there waiting.  Slowly other suckers patients were joining me with a stunned look on their face.  If you haven't had your eyes dilated before or forgot what it feels like, you slowly become sensitive to light and the vision blurs ever so much.  Luckily my time to wait wasn't too long.

Dr. W came whizzing into the room as Dr. W always does.  I swear he must drink a ton of caffeine or has ADHD the way he moves around the office and schedules appointments.  Anyway, he took a look at my eyes and said he sees no significant issues such as cataracts or glaucoma.  My floater has changed in size but he said he wouldn't advise doing anything with it due to the nature of risk with my particular eyes.  They did find I still have significant dry eye particularly in the left eye which is weird because that one was not radiated.  They suggested I use my drops more frequently.  Frankly I notice the dry eye more.  Mainly when my vision gets blurry.  A little eye drop and it is all better. Eyes are weird.

Look at those pupils!!
(Yes I got a touch up on my brows so they are dark and healing again)

Once again, I was sent out of the office with freaky numb eyes and blurry vision.  No matter how you try, something feels weird.  I made it to the car and sat a moment.  Holy cow.  Fortunately, or unfortunately,  I had one errand to do before I could go home.  That was to Costco to return a jacket.  Oh and work.  Do you know how hard it is to read little messages on  your phone with numb blurry eyes?  I do.  Luckily I made it through and returned home without any issues.  I did giggle because it seemed I couldn't hear while my eyes were funky.  It was pretty funny.

Another 6 months in the bank with post radiated eyes doing a-okay.