"The End of Your Life Book Club"

When Nola came out, she had just started reading a book she was fascinated with.  It was called "The End of Your Life Book Club" by Will Schwalbe.  It is a true story.  It is a book about a grown man and his Mother's journey with pancreatic cancer.  The Mom is a vibrant woman that was very involved in international charity.  Very well traveled and educated.  Clearly they have money too which would be very nice.

When Nola got settled in, she started talking about the book with me.  Tough questions like "What would you do if you had terminal cancer?"  Would you treat even though you know you can't cure it?  When do you decide you are done treating and it is time to let it go?  How do you prepare to come to terms with the idea of your own death?  Sounds like a gooley discussion but those are things that go through my mind.  And it really opened the door for Nola and I to have a very candid discussion about these tough questions. 

Nola also shared some interesting tidbits on things she learned when communicating with someone about their cancer.  Instead of asking "How do you feel today?" you can ask "Do you want to talk about how you feel today?"  That way, if the cancer patient doesn't feel like talking about it, they have that choice.  Interesting.

I decided to start reading the book while Nola was visiting.  I really appreciated the way the characters in the book approach the cancer.  It is always an obvious issue through the book but they go on with life.  The Mom continues to plan for her future.  She travels and continues working for her charities.  And the Son and Mom are avid readers.  They decided to use her chemo infusion times to talk about books they read together.  The book gives a long list of recommended books to read.  It was interesting how they used the books to grow close together and find something else to focus on while she was fighting for more time.  You can really appreciate how much more time she got and how she made it as full as possible.  Spoiler alert - she does die.  But her grace and bravery as she goes through the journey is amazing.  She lived significantly longer then the original prognosis.  I didn't finish the book before Nola left.  I had about 100 pages left.  I ordered it from Amazon but I just couldn't wait for it so I picked it up at the library.

What are my thoughts on the tough questions Nola and I talked about?  Well for me, I think finding an oncologist you trust and have the same established agreement about the issues is key.  Early on, I asked Dr. L to fight with me.  Give me quality of life.  Be hopeful.  And when and if it is time to give up hope, be honest and let me know it is time to stop fighting.  The great news is my cancer has a great prognosis.  And over the last 12 years, I've had great success in fighting it.   Dr. L and I agree that my cancer probably isn't going to be the thing that kills me.  That is good to know!

I really enjoyed the book although it was sad in the end but I appreciated them sharing the personal journey in such a positive way.  Cancer really sucks.  When faced with it, I really do believe it is all about the journey.