More Zip Zap...hold the Zoom

Sigh.  How do you begin writing about something you don't feel excited for?  Plus bad news?  I guess it is best to just begin.  You've probably heard my lump started coming back in my eyebrow.  I started noticing it about a month ago but chose to ignore it for awhile (the little control I have).  I did make an appointment with Dr. L (my oncologist) before we went on vacation knowing I can't ignore it longer.

So I saw Dr. L on Monday.  We did agree the lump is back.  Instead of waiting until it is huge, I would like to try treating it sooner while it is relatively small. When I saw Dr. S a few weeks ago, he noted it was 1 cm.  I'm not sure it is still that small but probably close.  In talking with Dr. L, we agreed we should go ahead and treat and radiation was the way to go.  Again, we agreed to not do chemo because the chemo treats my whole body which simply doesn't need treatment so the targeted treatment of radiation is perfect.  I left Dr. L's office and zipped into Dr. C (my radiation guy) office to make an appointment.

I met with Dr. C today.  First off, he is way less serious than last summer...which is great.  He came in smiling and happy and seemed genuinely happy to see me although we both agreed it would be better it was under different circumstances. I was really hoping we could do the mini zap of 2 treatments but he felt it was best to do a full series of daily radiation for 3 weeks.  He is fairly confident we can get rid of the lump permanently with that plan.  You can imagine my disappointment and that would be true.  The dose of radiation is going to be greater too.

Pulled the 'ole radiation mask out of the closet

I joked around that we can do less but he was pretty firm this was the way to go.  And in my heart, I know that too.  We were going to get set up today but I reminded him the allergy I had to the eye cup and he needed time to get a new eye cup in so I am going back in next Friday to get set up.  They will measure me and mark me up to make sure everything is set.  I don't think they will do the zap that day but I'm up for it if they want.

So the side effects - Fatigue during radiation.  Sensitive or burned skin where they radiate.  Long Term possible effects - Loss of eyebrow, cataracts within 5 years, damage to the tear duct resulting in dry eyes.  Dr. C said the long term effects aren't guaranteed and I am on the cusp of getting them.  He didn't want to promise but he said he would be surprised if I did get them.  He wasn't worried at all about long term impact to my vision.

I told him if he dreams about my treatment plan tonight and decides something less would work, I'm game and to just let me know.  Haha.  I really like Dr. C and trust him completely.  I understand he is a fabulous radiologist.

I'm not thrilled about all this.  But I was given almost a year reprieve last year.   We tried something less and well....although it was worth a try....it wasn't enough to work permanently.  So I am ramping up and getting ready for this next fight.  I know I can do it.

Oh and no more cute names.  Larry Lymphoma or Loretta Lymphoma?  I think not.  It is now the Bastard. The bastard that must go.  Have your fun and games little bastard because your days are numbered.  When I was in elementary school, we would bring our magnifying glasses to school and during recess, we burned things on the sidewalk.  The favorite was ants....not for me but that is what I am imagining.  Fry bastard fry.