Blissful Ignorance - Part I

I wanted to give everyone an update this week.  On the cancer front, everything is still good.  No night sweats, no lumps, no pain so I am in a period I call "Blissful Ignorance".  I'm feeling good, optimistic, and hopeful which is a good thing I think.

Speaking of cancer, I've found a very interesting phenomenon going on.  When I run into people that don't know about my returned cancer situation, I haven't found a great way to tell them without shocking them.  I don't know that there is ever a good time to tell someone you have cancer but there has to be a more gentle way.  Right?

My first situation was with a great friend from book club.  I thought she already knew but much to my surprise, she did not.  As I blurted out that my pathology was not good, her eyes got all teary and we both sat in Red Robin crying like babies.  This is when I realized, I am a sympathy cryer.  If someone gets a shaky chin and tears in their eyes, I join in the tears.

Another situation happened last week. I went to Dr. S's office.  I see his daughter for my silk peels on my face.  I knew Dr. S would tell her about my cancer but I had no idea she would be so emotional about it.  I went into the room and she looked at me...speechless.  Her chin quivered and that was all she wrote.  We both sat and hugged and ugly cried.  She has had her own cancer experiences and certainly is "cancer" aware.

And finally, I went to get my hair done today.  This is the same hairdresser (Logan) I've gone to for years and whom last time I saw, is when I noticed my eyebrow lump as I left the salon.  So I filled him in as soon as I sat down.  He had a new assistant that just started crying.  Total stranger but I guess it was too much for her.  Logan was more composed but was very concerned I got cancer from the cosmetics he used on me.  Of course, I didn't.   I found myself trying to laugh it off to help them feel better about it all.  As you know, I've always treated my cancer with humor so that isn't so foreign but it is a interesting process.

This week, I ask you all for ideas on how to better tell people I have cancer. What sort of things would help the message go over better? Or is it just a nasty message and that is the way it is? Let me know your thoughts.

While getting my hair done, Logan decided to help me "clean up" my eyebrows. It made me very nervous and I am still over protective of my right eyebrow. I believe the incision is probably healing but I just couldn't let him wax it. He was so nice and gently plucked all my strays but that was the first time I've let anyone touch my brow since the surgery. It was pretty scary actually but my brows look Mah-valous.

I decided to stop trimming my hair for a while until I know what is going on with treatments.  If I have to do full chemo and lose my hair, I can't think of a better thing to do then cut it off before I start to lose it and donate it to "Locks of Love".  In order to donate, you have to have 12" of hair.  I am pretty close to that if we cut it close to my scalp.  A couple months of growing should insure I am there.  I've heard lots of people say it is better to shave it off than let it fall out.  So longer we go until we know what the cancer is going to do.  It will be easier to style this Spring (think ponytail) and if, god forbid, I have to have aggressive chemo, I will feel like I am doing something good while going bald.  I won't lie....the thought of losing my hair is the worst part of the whole deal.  I know my naked noggin' is not pretty.  Good thing chemo isn't on the front burner right now.

Philip just finished 3rd term at school.  He got behind and worked very hard to catch up.  He was such a trooper and stuck with it and ended the term with everything turned in and caught up.  I'm very proud of him.  His final grades are not in yet but it looks like he might be where he needs to be to stay academically strong.  If not, his cumulative GPA shouldn't be hit too hard overall. 

This weekend has been snowy in Salt Lake.  It is very disappointing to see it snowing and the roads and sidewalks covered with snow.  I just couldn't make myself scrape it.  My poor daffodils are trying really hard to bloom.  It never fails that the snow comes and punches their bright yellow heads into the mud.  Snow is such a bully...and I am very sick of it.  I hear it is suppose to be 60 degrees the later part of next week.

So this week has gone well.  I can honestly say I feel hope in my heart.  I hope you do too.  Have a fabulous weekend.

XOXO