I finished radiation. Honestly, it seems like a million years ago already. I guess that is one nice thing about getting older is time seems to pass in the blink of the eye (pardon the pun). So you might ask, how is the eye? The eye is okay. I am thankful almost every day I can still see. Albeit it is different vision. It is a bit darker (seems like the lights are on dimmers) and it is more blurry. I used to have 20/25 vision but I believe it is now somewhere around 20/35. Not a huge difference and I am still making my way. I also have chronic dry eye so I have to use this thick eye....ointment in my eye every night. It is honestly surprising how I've learned to adapt. I thought I would have to give up my nightly habit of watching TV in bed but now I've trained myself to close my right (blurry from the goop) eye while I watch. The blurry just really bothers me. The good news is most days, if I am lucky, I don't seem to need drops during the day. Although I got the daytime drops the eye doctor recommended that last longer and they are quite soothing.
Visually, the eye looks almost normal again. I still have the dreaded dent but unless I raise my eyebrow, it seems hardly noticeable. The red is gone. My skin is probably still healing. I have funny freckles and zits (we will call them zits but I am not sure they are because they have lasted 3 weeks) above my brow. And I still have a brow although it is faint. I've not waxed my brows for 3 months now. Good thing they are light because they are....unbehaving. Last week, I did pluck my left brow a little. Then I got brave and plucked one stray hair on the right. Seriously, I could have almost dropped to my knees because it was so painful. And it continued to be painful for 2 days. Don't worry, Dr. C's nurse said I could pluck in 3-4 weeks. But honestly, I don't know that I will soon. Clearly under the skin is still damaged.
My eyebrow is still pretty sore to press or pinch. I usually don't but sometimes I feel brave and feel around for any lumps. I don't feel any. It is still "thick" where they cut the nerve in November and my eyelid and lashes are still numb (makes it tough to put on makeup cleanly...which I've rarely worn) but mostly I think the cancer is tamed. I have a follow up with Dr. C next week. I see Dr. L later in the month. I'll keep you posted on what I learn.
On a side note, I'm still seeing the chiropractor. I think I am ready to wean off. My adjustments have become extensive. Hips, neck, back, sternum, yadda, yadda, yadda. They don't hurt when they do them but I am rather sore later. I've had 3 Magnashere treatments so far. I do find I am able to do a bit more and my energy levels are higher. I absolutely don't remember what my energy levels were like before I got sick. I almost don't remember what they were like when they were their worst. I do remember when I could only do 1 thing a day. Either the grocery store, or to get a pair of jeans, or a dinner with friends. Now I can do all 3 in one day. I will be tired and need to rest between but I can do it without spending the next 2 days in bed. I am one of the biggest critics on magnet therapy but I can't ignore my increased energy and stamina. I just wish the burn in my lower back would go away. The core problem might be my...well...core. I am positive if I lost 80 lbs, my back wouldn't hurt so much. Those around me know I don't eat excessive. So there is no logical reason I am carrying this extra weight except I think the Prednisone did an mean trick on my metabolism. Add in the lack of muscles, and I am flat. Hopefully I can get back to the gym soon though without that terrible pain in my SI joint. I can't imagine that won't help something!
I have to remember....one step at a time.
Sunday, June 29, 2014
Friday, June 27, 2014
Note to self - Keep the bird in the cage
I am telling on myself to keep myself accountable. I make not excuse for my behavior and please note, I have learned a lesson.
Today I found myself in Orem. I do not know my way around Orem so I was fighting heavy traffic plus trying to make sense of my MapQuest print out - trying to read street signs and make sure I don't miss a turn. Needless to say, I went the wrong way off the freeway. It took me awhile to figure it out. And there are 4 lanes of traffic in each direction. I was going the wrong direction on the far wrong side of the road. I started making my way over with the goal to turn at the next turn light. I turned on my blinker. I made it through 2 lanes of traffic but the 3rd, there was a car that came up right on my tail and slowed down so I couldn't get over. I put on my break to let the car pass me. Clearly that driver was not going to let me over. As he passed, I don't know what came over me but I decided to flip him off.
The driver caught it and jammed on his breaks. I think he was trying to get me to hit him. Then he kept swerving to get me to hit him. I got all the way over without hitting him thank god but he stopped right next to my passenger side of the car and rolled down the window and started screaming at me. Luckily I had my sunglasses on and I decided to take the high road and not look and not engage in this rage fest. I had the windows up and thank GOD the doors were locked. The radio was on and I could still hear him. I believe he stepped out of his car too. But honestly, I didn't look so all this was through my peripheral vision...which is not great because my eye has been radiated and still healing. I'm pretty sure he spit on my car.
I was stuck in the left turn lane. I felt like a sitting duck. Luckily the light changed and he went straight but with all that rage directed at me, I was pretty sure he was coming back. So I waited until all lanes were clear and I went all the way across to the right and drove through some stores parking lots. I ended up stuck behind a car dealership...which was probably a good thing. Hopefully he didn't see where I went. I found myself shaking terribly and needed a minute to catch my breath. I made my way through the parking lot of cars and got myself corrected and headed in the right direction I needed to go.
I have a few take aways from this experience today:
1) Keep the bird in the cage. No amount of momentary gratification is worth having someone rage at you. Keep it to words - spoken within your own car and without allowing other drivers to read your lips.
2) When a car will not let you over, and purposely blocks your progression, there is a good chance there is a very aggressive person inside.
3) We really do need more kindness in this world. Seriously.
4) Although Orem has a reputation of being a community of heavily religious affiliation, that doesn't mean all people are kind and courteous.
And lastly, I can't get my arms around the level of anger and rage from this person. I'm calling it a "him" but really, I don't know. The mannerisms seemed man like but I honestly don't know. In my years of driving, I've been flipped off and honked at probably a bazillion times. In my younger years, I often responded back in kind but since my last road rage incident almost 25 years ago, I learned to smile and shrug meaning "Yeah...you are right, I am stupid." It just isn't worth playing into that rage. I feel very sorry for this persons family, co-workers, and especially, his dog. They must deal with that level of anger often.
So now I am taking a vow to my blogging audience....
I promise to keep my excellent "flipping the bird" finger to myself. You never know what the person on the receiving end of my communication might be dealing with or how they will react. It is not worth the overall experience.
I can get the spit washed off my car. I'm thankful he didn't beat my car or scratch it. And I REALLY hope he didn't catch my license plate number and have a way to find out who I am. I guess I should be careful answering my door for awhile.
Today I found myself in Orem. I do not know my way around Orem so I was fighting heavy traffic plus trying to make sense of my MapQuest print out - trying to read street signs and make sure I don't miss a turn. Needless to say, I went the wrong way off the freeway. It took me awhile to figure it out. And there are 4 lanes of traffic in each direction. I was going the wrong direction on the far wrong side of the road. I started making my way over with the goal to turn at the next turn light. I turned on my blinker. I made it through 2 lanes of traffic but the 3rd, there was a car that came up right on my tail and slowed down so I couldn't get over. I put on my break to let the car pass me. Clearly that driver was not going to let me over. As he passed, I don't know what came over me but I decided to flip him off.
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| Not exactly what I mean.... |
I was stuck in the left turn lane. I felt like a sitting duck. Luckily the light changed and he went straight but with all that rage directed at me, I was pretty sure he was coming back. So I waited until all lanes were clear and I went all the way across to the right and drove through some stores parking lots. I ended up stuck behind a car dealership...which was probably a good thing. Hopefully he didn't see where I went. I found myself shaking terribly and needed a minute to catch my breath. I made my way through the parking lot of cars and got myself corrected and headed in the right direction I needed to go.
I have a few take aways from this experience today:
1) Keep the bird in the cage. No amount of momentary gratification is worth having someone rage at you. Keep it to words - spoken within your own car and without allowing other drivers to read your lips.
2) When a car will not let you over, and purposely blocks your progression, there is a good chance there is a very aggressive person inside.
3) We really do need more kindness in this world. Seriously.
4) Although Orem has a reputation of being a community of heavily religious affiliation, that doesn't mean all people are kind and courteous.
And lastly, I can't get my arms around the level of anger and rage from this person. I'm calling it a "him" but really, I don't know. The mannerisms seemed man like but I honestly don't know. In my years of driving, I've been flipped off and honked at probably a bazillion times. In my younger years, I often responded back in kind but since my last road rage incident almost 25 years ago, I learned to smile and shrug meaning "Yeah...you are right, I am stupid." It just isn't worth playing into that rage. I feel very sorry for this persons family, co-workers, and especially, his dog. They must deal with that level of anger often.
So now I am taking a vow to my blogging audience....
I promise to keep my excellent "flipping the bird" finger to myself. You never know what the person on the receiving end of my communication might be dealing with or how they will react. It is not worth the overall experience.
I can get the spit washed off my car. I'm thankful he didn't beat my car or scratch it. And I REALLY hope he didn't catch my license plate number and have a way to find out who I am. I guess I should be careful answering my door for awhile.
Sunday, June 22, 2014
Friendly 50th
Saturday, my friends threw me a big 50th birthday celebration. Eric and Stacy are the best hosts and made me feel so special. I'm not sure I've been celebrated like that since I was young. Their yard is absolutely beautiful and it was wonderful to sit out there. We enjoyed a delicious pot luck dinner and then sat around and visited. I was shocked when presents came and even a custom made German Chocolate cake made by Stacy's daughter, Anna. Anna is a trained pastry chef. One of the best German Chocolate cake's I've had. Stacy and Eric bought me a "50" tiara. I brought party tiaras and mustaches.
I'll let the photos do the rest the talking.
This party was very touching to me. They really surprised me with their love and generosity. They really are great friends. Love all of them...guts and all.
I'll let the photos do the rest the talking.
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| The Nieman's |
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| Mama Gayle and Kim |
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| Mike and Jason |
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| Chris Clark and Thomas Jansen |
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| Jim and Erny |
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| Me, Cousin Ryan, Lesley |
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| Sharon (Julie photo bomb) |
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| Me and Julie |
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| Oh no. Tequila shots...my weakness |
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| Kim and Mike |
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| The Fidelity ladies-Julie, Stacy, Lesley, Me |
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| Me and Cousin Ryan |
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| Special made German Chocolate cake with 50...yes 50 candles |
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| Almost got them all out. |
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| Chris, Eric, Mike |
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| Shari and Kathy (Bookclub ladies) |
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| The group |
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| Decorations! |
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| Opening gifts |
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| Jim, Sharon, Stacy, Jule |
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| My special tiara |
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| Julie and Me - friends for 20 years |
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| Ryan, Lesley, Sharon |
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| The diehard mustache gang |
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| The wonderful hosts, Eric and Stacy |
Thursday, June 19, 2014
Bone Crackin' Harmony
I finally did one more thing I said I would never do. I went to a Chiropractor. My SI joint has been a problem for....months. It hurt, made me limp, made stairs even more difficult, and my leg kept falling asleep. I happened to mention it to my friend Kimberlee when we were in Moab. She is a super serious nutrition and body building gal. She suggested I ask her husband Aki. Aki used to coach the U of U girls gymnastics team. Those two are the ones that suggested a chiropractor versus physical therapy....and they knew a great guy. I trust them infinitely with their doctor referrals. This is the 3-4th one I've got from Kimberlee and they have always been fantastic!
Dr. B, the chiropractor, is a very mellow man. He speaks softly and is very focused on how you walk and how you move. He felt my bend was pretty good but noticed my back didn't move past the waist. So I got on the table and he put some stuff kind of like Bengay on my back. Then he had me move to lay on my back. Then on the right side. I bent the top leg and the top arm. And he pushed strategically. I felt a very gentle crack. Then I moved on the left side. Same thing. Back on my back. He pulled each leg. I honestly didn't feel a thing but I instantly felt better. Marked difference in my back when I got up. Seriously, I just can't believe it! He said I needed a few adjustments to keep my joint in position. He explained it is going to want to get inflamed and that will push it back out of alignment. So I will ice it as he instructed. He also asked that I walk down the block and back before I got in my car. Here is where it is interesting.
Anyone that has been around me knows that walking is very painful for me. I have terrible balance and really struggle with adjusted levels of pavement. But I really want this fixed. So I started walking down the sidewalk. Seriously. I got all the way to the end of the block without hurting. I felt a marked difference in my walking. I turned around to walk the block back. I did get a little sore in my mid-back on the left side but it wasn't that insistent burn that hurts so bad. I got back in my car and drove home.
I no longer sit leaning in the car. I got home and took a box of trash to the outside bin. No problem. More ease in doing the steps (still a long ways from normal though....but it didn't hurt like it was). I went to the front porch and picked up a package. Usually I feel unsteady and like I am going to tumble down the stairs, but not this time. No problems.
This feels like an amazing miracle to me. He said I should be feeling really good by the weekend.
He wants to see me tomorrow to see how I am doing and to check and see if I am still aligned. He also suggested this magnetic field chair thing he has in his office. He said it has marked benefits for those with chronic diseases. He has Parkinson's disease. They happen to have a special where I can go in the chair for an hour for $35. He suggested 3-5 sessions to start. I figure, why not? Modern medicine is helping me but there is still a huge gap in my well-being. So I signed up for the special. I'll give it a try to see if it helps.
He is also into nutrition. Not surprised. He said we need to work on my nutrition. I explained my Prednisone weight. He said it is impossible to lose weight if my liver isn't functioning well. I don't know if my liver will ever be perfect since I take drugs daily that damage my liver but it might be interesting to see what he suggests. His waiting room is full of supplements to buy. I'm not sure I want to take lots of supplements but I'm open to hear his suggestions.
I guess you could say, consider me converted. Maybe I'll be back in the gym next week!!
Dr. B, the chiropractor, is a very mellow man. He speaks softly and is very focused on how you walk and how you move. He felt my bend was pretty good but noticed my back didn't move past the waist. So I got on the table and he put some stuff kind of like Bengay on my back. Then he had me move to lay on my back. Then on the right side. I bent the top leg and the top arm. And he pushed strategically. I felt a very gentle crack. Then I moved on the left side. Same thing. Back on my back. He pulled each leg. I honestly didn't feel a thing but I instantly felt better. Marked difference in my back when I got up. Seriously, I just can't believe it! He said I needed a few adjustments to keep my joint in position. He explained it is going to want to get inflamed and that will push it back out of alignment. So I will ice it as he instructed. He also asked that I walk down the block and back before I got in my car. Here is where it is interesting.
Anyone that has been around me knows that walking is very painful for me. I have terrible balance and really struggle with adjusted levels of pavement. But I really want this fixed. So I started walking down the sidewalk. Seriously. I got all the way to the end of the block without hurting. I felt a marked difference in my walking. I turned around to walk the block back. I did get a little sore in my mid-back on the left side but it wasn't that insistent burn that hurts so bad. I got back in my car and drove home.
I no longer sit leaning in the car. I got home and took a box of trash to the outside bin. No problem. More ease in doing the steps (still a long ways from normal though....but it didn't hurt like it was). I went to the front porch and picked up a package. Usually I feel unsteady and like I am going to tumble down the stairs, but not this time. No problems.
This feels like an amazing miracle to me. He said I should be feeling really good by the weekend.
He wants to see me tomorrow to see how I am doing and to check and see if I am still aligned. He also suggested this magnetic field chair thing he has in his office. He said it has marked benefits for those with chronic diseases. He has Parkinson's disease. They happen to have a special where I can go in the chair for an hour for $35. He suggested 3-5 sessions to start. I figure, why not? Modern medicine is helping me but there is still a huge gap in my well-being. So I signed up for the special. I'll give it a try to see if it helps.
He is also into nutrition. Not surprised. He said we need to work on my nutrition. I explained my Prednisone weight. He said it is impossible to lose weight if my liver isn't functioning well. I don't know if my liver will ever be perfect since I take drugs daily that damage my liver but it might be interesting to see what he suggests. His waiting room is full of supplements to buy. I'm not sure I want to take lots of supplements but I'm open to hear his suggestions.
I guess you could say, consider me converted. Maybe I'll be back in the gym next week!!
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
Today is my Birthday!
Welcome to the half century mark Alexis! I have a tough time believing I am 50 today. I remember when my Mom turned 50! Most people seem to struggle with 50 because it is a mark of being older but for me, I celebrate 50. I think it is because 11 years ago, I was told my life would be shorter than I had planned. I honestly didn't think I would make it to 45! But I did and with some flare even! Ever since 45, I've marked every year with significant appreciation for each year I survive. I think this year is appreciated since I just finished another series of cancer treatments.
I've been celebrating in style. I went out to Melting Pot with Mom and Philip on Saturday, Dad and Cindy on Sunday. Last night, Philip and I celebrated together with dinner at Benihana. On Saturday, my friends are throwing a big party for me. Funny enough, my actual birthday has turned into a "me" day. I have a very full day of work and then I get to do whatever I want. We will see what I cook up.
Here is one of my favorite things from this year's celebration.
I've been celebrating in style. I went out to Melting Pot with Mom and Philip on Saturday, Dad and Cindy on Sunday. Last night, Philip and I celebrated together with dinner at Benihana. On Saturday, my friends are throwing a big party for me. Funny enough, my actual birthday has turned into a "me" day. I have a very full day of work and then I get to do whatever I want. We will see what I cook up.
Here is one of my favorite things from this year's celebration.
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
Father's Day recap
As I mentioned, we went up to Dad and Cindy's house on Father's day to celebrate together. Dad is still recuperating from his knee replacement but he is certainly doing really well. He is walking around with a limp but no assistive device. He even went down the stairs by himself. I couldn't believe how well he is doing.
DeOna is doing well recovering from her surgery too. She still has some bad days but seems to have more good then bad. I loved seeing her and her awesome family.
Cindy and Dad made the day so special. They had tons of helium balloons, a delicious dinner, and cake and cheesecake. The yard is absolutely beautiful. As much as I tried to make it all about Father's Day and celebrating the 3 Dads that were there, she still celebrated me too. I appreciated it so much and it was great fun.
I've decided we are a non-photo family. It is really tough to get photos of everyone but I sure tried.
We had a great visit and catch up. I can't help but think what a small yet mighty family we are.
DeOna is doing well recovering from her surgery too. She still has some bad days but seems to have more good then bad. I loved seeing her and her awesome family.
Cindy and Dad made the day so special. They had tons of helium balloons, a delicious dinner, and cake and cheesecake. The yard is absolutely beautiful. As much as I tried to make it all about Father's Day and celebrating the 3 Dads that were there, she still celebrated me too. I appreciated it so much and it was great fun.
I've decided we are a non-photo family. It is really tough to get photos of everyone but I sure tried.
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| Randy, TJ, and DeOna |
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| Beautiful yard |
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| More yard |
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| Me and Dad |
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| Philip and Tiffany (David and Jamie in the background.) |
Sunday, June 15, 2014
What a productive weekend!
Yesterday, Mom came into town and we flat got to business. She has been wanting to help me clean and organize so this visit, we bit off the garage. I pride myself in always being able to fit 1 car in my 2 car garage but honestly, that is about it. There eventually became a big pile of.....crap....that prevented much else from happening in the garage. Along the back of my garage is a shelf that goes the full length of the garage. Before the passage on the floor was blocked, things just got stuffed on the shelves without much rhyme or reason. This included a corner that had some boxes from when I moved it that hadn't been gone through. (Yes I moved in like 7 years ago....don't judge me).
When we cracked open the door and pulled out the car, it was almost impossible to decide where to start. The whole thing was full of.....crap....and no where to put it. So I started tinkering around on the left and started going to the right around the back. It wasn't long before we had a full garbage can and Mom's trunk was full of stuff for the D.I. But we kept going...and going...and going. Do you know in the back, there was dirt that was probably original to the house? Yes I mean it is 60 year old dirt. Not no more! I admit by the time we got to the right side, I was out of steam and so was she. We had no where left to put garbage and donations. We did set aside one big box full of trash for next week. And we need to find a spot for the wagon. But the snow blower is put away, shelves are moved, cleaned and loaded more practically, and the floors are clean. What an accomplishment.
We went to Costco, lunch, and then back home. Philip was home from work. After a little visiting, we decided to go start sorting and cleaning Philip's room. He keeps a clean floor but the dresser and closet are a complete disasters. They have not been cleaned well for at least 4 years. Because the dresser was full of junk and clothes that no longer fit, Philip had taken to dumping his clean laundry on the floor of the closet. It really is a vicious cycle. We started with the dresser. This is a huge sorting job. Bag for D.I.....bag for the trash. We also hung up all the clothes that were on the closet floor and put them away. We stopped for dinner (more on that in a minute) and then came back and finished sorting the dresser. We decided to stop for the night at 9:15. I couldn't move another muscle and Philip was tired too. We will come back and finish the closet soon. I do think we made a huge dent in the project. It was very good.
One of the reasons Mom came up was to celebrate my birthday with me. She offered to take us to dinner anywhere we wanted. It wasn't a tough choice for me, I picked Melting Pot. I've been wanting to go since Philip went for prom. We had so much fun and it was so delicious. We stuffed ourselves. What a great way to celebrate! Thank you Mom for coming up and helping me and for the fantastic dinner.
Of course, I also recognize today is Father's Day! Since Dad is still rehabbing, we are all going to his house for dinner. I'm looking forward to seeing him and celebrating with him. I'll try to catch some photos and will share them later.
When we cracked open the door and pulled out the car, it was almost impossible to decide where to start. The whole thing was full of.....crap....and no where to put it. So I started tinkering around on the left and started going to the right around the back. It wasn't long before we had a full garbage can and Mom's trunk was full of stuff for the D.I. But we kept going...and going...and going. Do you know in the back, there was dirt that was probably original to the house? Yes I mean it is 60 year old dirt. Not no more! I admit by the time we got to the right side, I was out of steam and so was she. We had no where left to put garbage and donations. We did set aside one big box full of trash for next week. And we need to find a spot for the wagon. But the snow blower is put away, shelves are moved, cleaned and loaded more practically, and the floors are clean. What an accomplishment.
We went to Costco, lunch, and then back home. Philip was home from work. After a little visiting, we decided to go start sorting and cleaning Philip's room. He keeps a clean floor but the dresser and closet are a complete disasters. They have not been cleaned well for at least 4 years. Because the dresser was full of junk and clothes that no longer fit, Philip had taken to dumping his clean laundry on the floor of the closet. It really is a vicious cycle. We started with the dresser. This is a huge sorting job. Bag for D.I.....bag for the trash. We also hung up all the clothes that were on the closet floor and put them away. We stopped for dinner (more on that in a minute) and then came back and finished sorting the dresser. We decided to stop for the night at 9:15. I couldn't move another muscle and Philip was tired too. We will come back and finish the closet soon. I do think we made a huge dent in the project. It was very good.
One of the reasons Mom came up was to celebrate my birthday with me. She offered to take us to dinner anywhere we wanted. It wasn't a tough choice for me, I picked Melting Pot. I've been wanting to go since Philip went for prom. We had so much fun and it was so delicious. We stuffed ourselves. What a great way to celebrate! Thank you Mom for coming up and helping me and for the fantastic dinner.
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| Happy Birthday Strawberry! |
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| Yummy! |
Happy Father's Day Dad!
Thursday, June 12, 2014
Getting crafty again.
Yesterday, my girlfriends and I got together for another enrichment activity. This time, we went to "Color Me Mine" which is a pottery shop where you go glaze pre-made ceramics and they fire it for you. I REALLY wanted to do a gnome. I got there a little early and picked out a medium size one. The other ladies did a chip/dip bowl, custom tile, leaf dish, and another gnome.
We got busy picking colors and painting. Unfortunately, there was no alcohol at this event but we had fun. We started at 6:00. Before we knew it, it was time for the shop to close (8:00) but they said we could stay until 8:30 when another party was scheduled to leave. At 8:35, I still had the face to paint. Do I keep going or do I stop and come back? I decided to keep going but it was a stressful and frantic pace. I got done but I felt like I was on the Amazing Race. When I got done at 9:00, I was practically panting from anxiety but I think I got it done. Our pieces will be done on Sunday. I'll go pick up for everyone and take them to a get together we have on the 21st. I can't wait to see the end result.
Now we need to find out next activity. We are talking about evening canoeing down Provo River!
I'll update with a photo of my gnome when it is done. I hope he ends up cute. I think I messed up the eyes. I hope not.
We got busy picking colors and painting. Unfortunately, there was no alcohol at this event but we had fun. We started at 6:00. Before we knew it, it was time for the shop to close (8:00) but they said we could stay until 8:30 when another party was scheduled to leave. At 8:35, I still had the face to paint. Do I keep going or do I stop and come back? I decided to keep going but it was a stressful and frantic pace. I got done but I felt like I was on the Amazing Race. When I got done at 9:00, I was practically panting from anxiety but I think I got it done. Our pieces will be done on Sunday. I'll go pick up for everyone and take them to a get together we have on the 21st. I can't wait to see the end result.
Now we need to find out next activity. We are talking about evening canoeing down Provo River!
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| Me, Koli, Gayle, Christine, Lesley (Stacy took the photo) |
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| My gnome before painting |
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
Well shit....
So a little eye update. Since I finished radiation, my eye is crusted shut every morning. No big deal. I got some powerful eyelids so I just rip them open and remove the crust. Now I've had my fair share of pink eye over the years and know an infected eye, the crust is yellow/green. My crust is just a lovely shade of white. So I didn't worry too much about it. My eye has been through hell this past month. But I decided to call Dr. C to see if I should be worried. He called me back yesterday saying it wasn't a huge concern but he would like me to see my Ophthalmologist within the next week. Ummm.....I don't really have an Ophthalmologist. In fact, I've not had my eyes checked since I started Prednisone....oh a bazillion years ago. I called around without much luck and then, I remembered Dr. W who did my Lasik's years ago. Luckily he could see me today.
I really liked Dr. W and how he facilitated me donating my glasses forever to charity. I've thanked him almost every day in my mind when I wake up and can see without glasses. How long has it been since that surgery? I have no idea but I was living on Foothill when I had it done so it had to have been....10-12 years ago. He was pleased with my vision and said the Lasiks was still a huge success. But I digress. What I didn't really feel right about Dr. W is I feel like he isn't especially thorough. "Can you see the letters? Perfect...even if you have to squint. You are fine...see you in a year." I always felt he likes the "cosmetic" part of Ophthalmology then the eye disease part. Anyway....
Today, he looked at my eye with that irritating slit lamp thing. Almost immediately, he declared I do have a small cataract. And he said my eye was super dry. He explained that your eye tears when it is dry but it is a mucus and not the tears you need to mix together to make healthy tears. So although I had all my fingers and toes crossed I would come out of radiation unscathed, it simply isn't so. Both things I was concerned about happened. Damaged tear gland leading to permanent dry eye and a cataract. I'm not very happy but you can't say Dr. C didn't warn me. So I bought the night goop and the daily eye drops on my way out of the hospital today to use from now on to forever eternity.
I go back to Dr. W in 3 months to have my eye dilated and he will see what is going on then. Looks like more surgery may be in my future. Shit....Damn....Piss.....Hell!
As a special treat, here is a photo my eye status as of earlier this week. Makes my eye hurt just to look at it. You can see the red where they radiated. It feels burnt but really it feels burnt from the inside...which I guess it is. One more week of intensity and then it should start healing. I'm still not wearing makeup hardly ever and when I do, I'm very sparing with it. It seems to really irritate my skin and my eye. My eyebrows are quite hairy but I noticed today, the right one is white. I can't wait to pluck and color but that will be about a month or so longer.
I really liked Dr. W and how he facilitated me donating my glasses forever to charity. I've thanked him almost every day in my mind when I wake up and can see without glasses. How long has it been since that surgery? I have no idea but I was living on Foothill when I had it done so it had to have been....10-12 years ago. He was pleased with my vision and said the Lasiks was still a huge success. But I digress. What I didn't really feel right about Dr. W is I feel like he isn't especially thorough. "Can you see the letters? Perfect...even if you have to squint. You are fine...see you in a year." I always felt he likes the "cosmetic" part of Ophthalmology then the eye disease part. Anyway....
Today, he looked at my eye with that irritating slit lamp thing. Almost immediately, he declared I do have a small cataract. And he said my eye was super dry. He explained that your eye tears when it is dry but it is a mucus and not the tears you need to mix together to make healthy tears. So although I had all my fingers and toes crossed I would come out of radiation unscathed, it simply isn't so. Both things I was concerned about happened. Damaged tear gland leading to permanent dry eye and a cataract. I'm not very happy but you can't say Dr. C didn't warn me. So I bought the night goop and the daily eye drops on my way out of the hospital today to use from now on to forever eternity.
I go back to Dr. W in 3 months to have my eye dilated and he will see what is going on then. Looks like more surgery may be in my future. Shit....Damn....Piss.....Hell!
As a special treat, here is a photo my eye status as of earlier this week. Makes my eye hurt just to look at it. You can see the red where they radiated. It feels burnt but really it feels burnt from the inside...which I guess it is. One more week of intensity and then it should start healing. I'm still not wearing makeup hardly ever and when I do, I'm very sparing with it. It seems to really irritate my skin and my eye. My eyebrows are quite hairy but I noticed today, the right one is white. I can't wait to pluck and color but that will be about a month or so longer.
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
Voodoo Magic
Today is the last day of school for Philip. I don't know why they even count it because they start the day with an assembly and then hand out yearbooks. Then you go to lunch and the afternoon you get to sign. I'm pretty sure the students aren't going to follow that plan. In fact, mine certainly is not. He chose to sleep in. It is 9:15 and he is still in bed. He participated in the "Day of Service" yesterday. It is a huge volunteer project to make fleece blankets for the school to donate. If you spend time doing that, you get to pick up your yearbook that night...a day before the huge line. So Philip already has his yearbook and it already has signatures.
Many of you might know, I chose to be part of the yearbook team my Junior year of High School. I actually learned a lot that year that I still use today. Things about image selection, messaging, and designing a page. Who knew?? But the big end result of that experience, is I can't wait to see his yearbook. I go through that thing from front to back. I look up all the people who Philip discussed during the year. I read all the signatures and messages. Do you know many people comment on Philip's amazing personality? How he is so caring and funny. And many many of them comment on how smart Philip is and how they couldn't have made it through XX class without his help.
In true teen style, Philip gave a little grade scare right at the very end. But he pulled out his voodoo magic yesterday afternoon and got a 4.0!! This is not your regular 4.0 though. In Utah, the grades are not weighted based on how hard the classes are. People that take regular math carry the same weight of grade as someone like Philip that took a 2 block college level calculus class. I firmly believe this is why Utah doesn't compete well nationally on academics. Certainly doesn't motivate students to push themselves to take hard classes. In fact, many take certain easy classes because they want that 4.0. But not Philip. He took 3 AP classes (college level) and 1 honors (Physics) class. I always calculate what his GPA would be if Utah did weight classes. His result is a 4.45! It is never about the grade as much as it is about Philip's efforts. That said, it is always nice when he is able to pull off the strong grades too. This is going to go miles in his college pursuits. This is the transcript he will apply to college with.
I'm incredibly proud of you Philip. More than you will ever know!!
It is tough to realize he has 1 more year of High School. Seven short months until he is 18. I know...I know...it is what my job as a parent is about. But it is going so fast! But I am going to pause on my panic and celebrate with Philip and let him enjoy the summer working and playing.
Many of you might know, I chose to be part of the yearbook team my Junior year of High School. I actually learned a lot that year that I still use today. Things about image selection, messaging, and designing a page. Who knew?? But the big end result of that experience, is I can't wait to see his yearbook. I go through that thing from front to back. I look up all the people who Philip discussed during the year. I read all the signatures and messages. Do you know many people comment on Philip's amazing personality? How he is so caring and funny. And many many of them comment on how smart Philip is and how they couldn't have made it through XX class without his help.
In true teen style, Philip gave a little grade scare right at the very end. But he pulled out his voodoo magic yesterday afternoon and got a 4.0!! This is not your regular 4.0 though. In Utah, the grades are not weighted based on how hard the classes are. People that take regular math carry the same weight of grade as someone like Philip that took a 2 block college level calculus class. I firmly believe this is why Utah doesn't compete well nationally on academics. Certainly doesn't motivate students to push themselves to take hard classes. In fact, many take certain easy classes because they want that 4.0. But not Philip. He took 3 AP classes (college level) and 1 honors (Physics) class. I always calculate what his GPA would be if Utah did weight classes. His result is a 4.45! It is never about the grade as much as it is about Philip's efforts. That said, it is always nice when he is able to pull off the strong grades too. This is going to go miles in his college pursuits. This is the transcript he will apply to college with.
I'm incredibly proud of you Philip. More than you will ever know!!
It is tough to realize he has 1 more year of High School. Seven short months until he is 18. I know...I know...it is what my job as a parent is about. But it is going so fast! But I am going to pause on my panic and celebrate with Philip and let him enjoy the summer working and playing.
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